Iphone Siri is funny!

Have you met Siri? Siri on iPhone 4S lets you use your voice to send messages, schedule meetings, place phone calls, and more. Ask Siri to do things just by talking the way you talk. Siri understands what you say, knows what you mean, and even talks back. Siri is so easy to use and does so much, you’ll keep finding more and more ways to use it.

Sometimes it understands way too much or a machine... Let's stay on the iphone topic a bit more! Let's see some screenshots and you will understand what I mean! I do have to mention I have no idea if these are true or not but still they are no less funny!

If you think this is funny...

You got "Let's just be friends" from a machine... Congratulations!

On another note... Maybe Siri is delusional? Although I know many women that would probably get jealous... and some men would probably enjoy this way too much...

 Some people have way too much free time in their hands...

Still don't believe me? By the way a color with more dimensions? Matrix code? Speaking of which:

Funny part is that the question is being asked by a girl... And Siri you disappoint me...

Honestly I wanna see what app Siri will open for that...

I don't know i I should be aroused by the last answer or just ignore it and keep laughing...

 Aaaw... Ain't it cute? Blah Blah Blah!

See? A true friend! Some people won't know such kindness from humans I suspect...

OK, I think this is a bit too much, as far as friends should go... 

 Till next time... enjoy!

Funny iphone messages (part 3)

In case you didn't get what the dumb part here is (except for the obvious) it's that people send their messages without checking them. In school before you turn your paper back after an exam what did you do? No, you didn't check if the hottie of the class has finished too...You checked for mistakes... Something the people that send these didn't... Well people that buy iphones... oops! They are very very smart! Why buy an android that does everything and more, with 400$ and not buy an iphone that doesn't support Flash for example?

Exactly my point! But let's see some more funny sms I found. I 'll bash Apple on another post...

I can imagine so many people sending this sms... Oh, so many people...

Price of the sms: 10c

Price of the drinks: 20$

The look on her face when she sees the sms?

Being single is priceless by itself... No argument there.

 Dumbass.... as the site says: smartphOWNED...

It's painful yet you are still his friend... You are a hero... Kudos!

I don't know what drugs she's on but share em please... As for the parents... Haha

You see a weird message... what you do? You wait! This is premature messaging!

 Exactly...

 Ooch...

 Moms... You gotta love them! They are technology impaired... <3

Funny iphone messages (part 2)

Some messages are just hilarious... I don't know if they are real or not but still the IF is what makes it so funny. Some more are the following:

What do you respond to that? Come on bro stop cockblocking him! The only person that can cock block him is your girlfriend. And if she doesn't you will soon look like this:

So anyway let's move on:

Where should I start? About the Birthgiver thing? Or the porn thing? Or the dumbass that responded prematurely..?

Auto-correct at its finest... Now the incest version is up! Upgrade fast!

And the next version is up... It's called Auto-disgusting-correct...

Makes you wonder i the sender is a guy or a girl... And what would be worse of those two...

Call me  "Iphone the truth bearer"...

Hahaha, best way to check if someone is lying... use your phone!

I think another RESPECT is in order?

BUT sometimes you are so happy that the auto-correct didn't do anything...

There will be another part because these are hilarious...

Funny iphone messages (part 1)

I always say that when you do something stupid, at least don't leave evidence behind. Meaning if you are a bit not sure about your intelligence, stay away from cameras, mobile phones etc... Anything you do or say can and will be used against you... I am sure some of you after a party you can't sleep just because you don't remember what you did last night and there were cameras flashing all over the place... So you don't want to be tagged in some facebook photo trying to kiss a 60 year old woman...

Have no fear. Apple made it possible to take screenshots of your phone! This combined with the HIGHLY (ehem...) sophisticated auto correct... equals lots of win (and fail for those involved). But I know most of you will say that I blame technology for our mistakes. And you are of course right. I will also post some messages that even blaming the auto correct function won't save them face... So here goes!

I really hope this wasn't intended as a phone interview because you just fucked up... On another note you might make some money from suing Apple... Who knows!

Well one way or another... you need to get your protein right?

No idea if I should laugh or be disgusted..?

I 'd probably perform Harakiri after this...

Whoever send this, I only have one word for you... Respect!

Hey bro... every day it's vagina day... for more reasons than one... But you can't get a vacation all the time!

Don't you just hate it when you have a bad case of the manboobs especially on Monday?

You started it! Although I don't get why fucking her brother is worse than fucking the other girls boyfriend... I don't get women... Hell they don't get themselves most of the time...

Iphone is retarded...

Imagine the phone finds more likely to use the words crack pipe instead of Creme pie...

And they call me cocky...

More tomorrow!

Valentine's Day... Seriously?

February 14! At last, all of you, married, in relationships or hopeful singles rejoice! The day where you can show your love to your loved one is here! 

According to the legend, St Valentine was persecuted as a Christian and interrogated by Roman Emperor Claudius II in person. Claudius was impressed by Valentine and had a discussion with him, attempting to get him to convert to Roman paganism in order to save his life. Valentine refused and tried to convert Claudius to Christianity instead. Because of this, he was executed. Before his execution, he is reported to have performed a miracle by healing the blind daughter of his jailer.

Since Legenda Aurea still provided no connections whatsoever with sentimental love, appropriate lore has been embroidered in modern times to portray Valentine as a priest who refused an unattested law attributed to Roman Emperor Claudius II, allegedly ordering that young men remain single. The Emperor supposedly did this to grow his army, believing that married men did not make for good soldiers. The priest Valentine, however, secretly performed marriage ceremonies for young men. When Claudius found out about this, he had Valentine arrested and thrown in jail.

My heart already beats fast... not. Seriously we are so desperate that we need a day to remind us to be good and thoughtful to our other half? Hell even those that don't have a bf or gf they try hard to find one to spend Valentine's day together. Our club wielding ancestor would cry...

What I like the most about this day is the people that say "Who cares about Valentine's day?" or "Valentine's day sucks" and then you see them either:

1. Crying their eyes out in bed

2. Start calling everyone they know to go out on a date

3. Get mad because their bf or gf didn't bought em anything or didn't make plans for the day.

Word...

 Also getting a bf or a gf to spend Valentine's day together is like buying a Boeing 747 for the free peanuts... Not worth it. Men hate this holiday because let's be honest... we have to pay for it... AND because today Barcelona plays on Champion's League. Women that are in relationships:

1) Love this vacation and they are happy with their bf

2) Hate this vacation because they are single

3) Love this vacation but their bf hasn't planned anything more than a flower, so they hate him instead

4) Hate this vacation but go out with their gfs to have their Anti-Valentine's day and scream we don't need men (but cry their eyes out when they get home feeling lonely and why no one loves them etc.)

and so on...

So who gains from this vacation? Valentine's day is a huge industry. Teddy bears, hearts, flowers, jewelry, sexy lingerie (noticed how tiny they are yet they cost so much?), fancy restaurants, hotel rooms, dinners... and all these in one day! Hell I am thinking of opening a business just for one day and then go default! (Don't start...)

Honestly if someone waits for a particular day to show you how much he/she loves you then you need to find someone better. And this is what this holiday shows. How unimaginative and predictable we are. Why men and women cheat and don't get along. Valentine's day if anything should be about something new and not something out of the ordinary. If you took your gf to a fancy restaurant on a Hotel one day today you can take her in a restaurant by the beach. Not today to be the only day of the year that you actually took her somewhere.

Also women... this isn't woman's day. It's called Valentine's day. Meaning you have to buy him something too. Sexual favors follow the above rule so they don't count. And if you do em then you don't know men at all. As you can't go back in lifestyle, men can't go back in sex. Meaning once you put something in the menu, it stays in the menu! - Chris Rock

 If he takes you out and pays 200 euros (you better marry this girl after that bro), expect he will expect something in return. A 2 euro key chain doesn't cut it. Or a cactus. If I wanted to spend 200 euros somewhere and please myself instead, I 'd hire an escort.

Have you seen How I met your mother? Barney says that 13th of February is called desperation day. Women that day are easy because they want a date for the next day. Well I don't know about 13th but my phone and FB started having an unusual high activity since the 1st of the month. Girls I haven't talked all year called me to see how I was and where I've been. I smell a conspiracy here..

So my advice is: If you are single don't get out of your way to have a date today. Chances are even if you get a date it won't end up in a relationship or if it ends up it started with the wrong reasons. That's the road to disappointment. If you are not single, remember that each year has 365 days. Don't bend out of shape just because today you feel obliged to do something. Do something because you feel like it and because you really care about the person you are with. If you don't someone else will. Simple math: you do something special today only = 1 point. Someone else does something special any other day = 364... Do you see.... Where I am going... with this?

As for me...

I love you all <3

Gender equality is dumb

Honestly this is a very delicate and dangerous topic. Women will go crazy just by the title. "We have rights and we want them to be the same as men". I respect it and it sounds important... It isn't. So to put a disclaimer: 

Especially in today's era, the ones that would get hurt the most by gender equality would be women. They concentrate on the very little they will win and not on the many stuff they will lose. Let's see some examples of "watch what you wish for, it might come true":

 I guess you all saw this coming. The dreaded:

First off, how this is a big deal? It's a friggin toilet seat. Why it should be down or up? Women go batshit crazy about it. Gender equality would change that (actually it should change even without it but anyway).

Then let's go to the basic rule of a sinking boat: Women and children first. If we had gender equality it would be "first come first served". But then again how often a boat or ship sinks?

More often than you think... And to get out of topic a bit. Why children first? Would you want someone like young Hitler to be saved just because he was a child? Ask a Jewish person about his/her theory of this.

This is a statistic I found and I don't know if this true but here goes: "Women only make 72 cents for every dollar a man makes for the same kind of work". I do agree this is not fair BUT... If this is true why don't companies only hire women then to save money? I don't know the answer to be honest but when I become a CEO of a company I will let you know.

This is mostly for Greece since I know the law here, so I don't know if it applies to other countries. Gender equality dictates that all women should go to the army and go through all the training men do. I remember in my physical ed class, most girls avoided it with the "I am on my period" excuse. I wouldn't mind but if you have period for 1 month straight there is something wrong with you. Say bye bye to your manicure and your bright/soft hair for some time.

Divorces everywhere give women the child in most cases AND the man has to pay for alimony. Are you OK with this being 50%-50%? The woman paying alimony and the man taking child custody?

Again this isn't checked if it's legit but if you play tennis you know. Women take the same prize money with 3 sets while men play five sets. Want this to change?

The list can go on but this is the main reason why I don't think gender equality is something women want. The whole concept of a man being a "Gentleman" is because he is the person that can protect a woman (mainly because of her physiology), treat her right, make the first move and so on. Are women prepared to buy men drinks in a bar? Or approach them first and ask them to take them home? Or be put to the friend zone over and over again? 

Can you imagine entering a club and men not even look at you? I know women that are so empty inside that don't do relationships because they want the validation every time they go to a club or a bar. (and because they can't find their imaginary prince (vampire?) in his white Lamborghini and take her to Hawaii). Starts sounding like a bad idea right? An empowered women should do what all men do in the courtship game AND not be labeled a slut... Good luck with that.

Finally all women complain how we objectify them especially in porn... Have you ever seen the salaries women make in porn and how much their male counterparts earn? No one forced them to do anything they didn't want. Also how often you see a homeless woman? Thought so.

Bottom line? Both sexes have something to offer to each other. They have their roles. Be their biological roles or the roles society has established. If we lived in an ideal world maybe it would be the ideal solution to have gender equality but we don't, so adapt to it and stop whining. Both men and women.

As for men... The next post will be yours to whine about.

The subway violinist

I always loved stories since I was a kid. Even to this day I will spend countless hours listening to my grandma and my aunt, both almost a century old, tell me stories from other simpler times. The next story I found, is a true story and shows that although we are supposedly civilized and advanced we can't appreciate art if it hit us in the head. This is because all the art that critics appreciate is under context. 

Would anyone take Picasso's art seriously if it was not decided (after his death) that they are masterpieces by some "knowledgeable critics". Don't get me wrong I am not saying Picasso wasn't painting masterpieces. I only say that we can't appreciate it unless someone else tells us that this is art. Everyone appreciates art differently and the next story shows that we are hardly out of the jungle as a species. Personally I think we are as dumb as rocks and history is my best witness but anyway here goes:

The Subway Violinist

A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that thousands of people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

Three minutes went by and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried up to meet his schedule.

A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping continued to walk.

A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.

The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried but the kid stopped to look at the violinist.

Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.

In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the top musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written,with a violin worth 3.5 million dollars.

Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston and the seats average $100.

This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station

was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty?

Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?

One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be: If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?

--------

I hope you enjoyed his music a bit more than the people in the subway. It's funny how many people say big things like "Carpe Diem" and they spend their day in the couch watching TV or playing video games all day long. You live 27.000 day if you are lucky enough. Every day you spend without bettering yourself or actually living is a day wasted. I know this is a bit different than my usual posts but I think it is good food for thought.

Till next time...

Live