Twilight sucks (part 1)

I tried so hard not to make an obvious post like this but I couldn't stand the stupidity of it any more. I also have to say that I saw the first one when it came out and I was awe'd at its stupidly unimaginative script. In case you got confused it's NOT a Vampire story. I have seen many Vampire stories and not once I have seen Vampires glow in the sun. That is not a Vampire. It's more like a transvestite than anything else. Also they feed in animal blood... seriously? Cold blood killers spare humans because they are moral... Oook... I don't know what the chick that wrote it was smoking but please share the crack pipe.

There are so many parts I wanna comment that seemed to me like the whole movie was written by people that 1) had never been laid before, 2) they are under 14, 3) they have never seen any kind of movie before, 4) their research was puny, 5) it targeted soccer moms and girls under 16. (I could reach number 100 but you get the point hopefully).

So what the movie is all about? A 100 plus year old Vampire falls in love with a 16 year old girl... So we already have out first paraphilia. Next obviously the Vampire is retarded because after 100 years falling in love with your food is a bit weird. Especially if the 16 year old girl as the book says is average. I bet that if you had his powers you 'd go after PlayBoy models or Victoria's Secret angels. But no. As my roommate told me, in the book while the writer (you 'll excuse my term writer), describes the Vampire as someone of extreme attractiveness, it never describes the girl's appearance. Meaning any girl can put herself in the heroine's shoes.

Honestly after this movie came out many people in Hollywood were pleased because if a movie like that became a hit their script will probably be made into an epic movie, but at the same time they were like what the fuck, when producers or agents reject their scripts and choose a movie like that to be produced... What can I say my fellow humans... I am with you...

I even lost my faith to imdb... Rating: 5.3 Were you high or something? So I continue with the review (which I have to confess since I haven't watched any other parts besides the first and half of the third movie... which I was blackmailed by a girl to see and I fell asleep halfway, most of the reviews are not mine but I took them from other sites discussing how dumb this movie was).

Every girl keeps saying how romantic this movie is... Am I the only one that finds this creepy:

Then after 100 years you are still doomed to be in highschool even if you look like you are 20+. I remember a girl we had in highschool that has stayed in the same grade for like 5 years. We used to look at her like a loser not a phenomenon... Times changed I guess... Then again as my roommate informed me the 2 words you find mostly in the book are: perfect and awesome... Brilliant writing if you ask me. It sometimes help to use a dictionary to find synonyms. Then we also have the werewolves where surprise, surprise they can transform any time they want not just in a full moon... So we can easily call them pokemons and not werewolves. 

Then we have a scene where the Vampires play baseball... What's the point in playing a game that has human rules when you have superpowers? Show off to Bella obviously... Next time I will take my food in a football game to impress it before I eat it... or in Twilight's version before I marry it and have sex with it. Speaking of marriage, it's funny how Natural Selection works. Since all women that like this abomination will always Edward to appear in their lives and they will obviously die alone, their stupid genes will get weeded out of the gene pool. Nice!

In the movies Bella almost dies a thousand times and the doggie and sparkles save her all the time... Seriously it's getting boring after the one hundredth time... Especially when in the first scene where a car is about to crash her (oh why it didn't?) Sparkles saves her in front of everyone... There goes the cover. Then again on the alley where let's be honest he was stalking her and he gets pissed because he can read minds... So now we don't only have ehem Vampire but X-man professor X powers?

Imagine also that while Bella is so plain and average everyone falls for her in the first 2 chapters (or so they tell me). That's weird a bit? The only part I liked it the anti-feminism message Bella sends that the man should be a man and woman should be a woman... Of course again she took it to the extreme where Sparkles and Doggie are super humans and Bella is almost useless to do anything by herself... Not to mention the parental thing where her father doesn't really give a crap about what she does... 

 More on part 2...

Gender equality is dumb

Honestly this is a very delicate and dangerous topic. Women will go crazy just by the title. "We have rights and we want them to be the same as men". I respect it and it sounds important... It isn't. So to put a disclaimer: 

Especially in today's era, the ones that would get hurt the most by gender equality would be women. They concentrate on the very little they will win and not on the many stuff they will lose. Let's see some examples of "watch what you wish for, it might come true":

 I guess you all saw this coming. The dreaded:

First off, how this is a big deal? It's a friggin toilet seat. Why it should be down or up? Women go batshit crazy about it. Gender equality would change that (actually it should change even without it but anyway).

Then let's go to the basic rule of a sinking boat: Women and children first. If we had gender equality it would be "first come first served". But then again how often a boat or ship sinks?

More often than you think... And to get out of topic a bit. Why children first? Would you want someone like young Hitler to be saved just because he was a child? Ask a Jewish person about his/her theory of this.

This is a statistic I found and I don't know if this true but here goes: "Women only make 72 cents for every dollar a man makes for the same kind of work". I do agree this is not fair BUT... If this is true why don't companies only hire women then to save money? I don't know the answer to be honest but when I become a CEO of a company I will let you know.

This is mostly for Greece since I know the law here, so I don't know if it applies to other countries. Gender equality dictates that all women should go to the army and go through all the training men do. I remember in my physical ed class, most girls avoided it with the "I am on my period" excuse. I wouldn't mind but if you have period for 1 month straight there is something wrong with you. Say bye bye to your manicure and your bright/soft hair for some time.

Divorces everywhere give women the child in most cases AND the man has to pay for alimony. Are you OK with this being 50%-50%? The woman paying alimony and the man taking child custody?

Again this isn't checked if it's legit but if you play tennis you know. Women take the same prize money with 3 sets while men play five sets. Want this to change?

The list can go on but this is the main reason why I don't think gender equality is something women want. The whole concept of a man being a "Gentleman" is because he is the person that can protect a woman (mainly because of her physiology), treat her right, make the first move and so on. Are women prepared to buy men drinks in a bar? Or approach them first and ask them to take them home? Or be put to the friend zone over and over again? 

Can you imagine entering a club and men not even look at you? I know women that are so empty inside that don't do relationships because they want the validation every time they go to a club or a bar. (and because they can't find their imaginary prince (vampire?) in his white Lamborghini and take her to Hawaii). Starts sounding like a bad idea right? An empowered women should do what all men do in the courtship game AND not be labeled a slut... Good luck with that.

Finally all women complain how we objectify them especially in porn... Have you ever seen the salaries women make in porn and how much their male counterparts earn? No one forced them to do anything they didn't want. Also how often you see a homeless woman? Thought so.

Bottom line? Both sexes have something to offer to each other. They have their roles. Be their biological roles or the roles society has established. If we lived in an ideal world maybe it would be the ideal solution to have gender equality but we don't, so adapt to it and stop whining. Both men and women.

As for men... The next post will be yours to whine about.

Google auto-complete reads your mind!

As much as I love Google, the auto-complete/prediction algorithm they have when you try to search something is plain genius... and dumb at the same time. Forget Nostradamus, now Google is making all the predictions for you! I took some time searching stuff on Google and you won't believe what people search in it... Here are some of the results:

OK this is wrong in so many levels... What people search on Google is just amazing. For obvious reasons I wont comment further on this!

 In case you can't see it "so I got busy throwing everybody underneath the bus...". Google you can stop now son... You making it worse... Let them finish their sentence. If you were in an interrogation room and acted like Google auto-complete you 'd spill your guts out even for things you didn't commit.

Cop:"So did you..."

Google:"Rob the bank!Killed JFK! Shot the Sheriff! (But I didn't shoot the Deputy)"

Twilight's time will come soon enough in my blog so just wait. And no he isn't a Vampire. A care bear stalker maybe. But a Vampire? Doubtful. And yes he is fictional, can you deal with that?

"Why does my vag smell...". It's a vagina... it's supposed to smell! As for the green poop... ew. But the best of all? "why can't I own a Canadian?" Let me guess you mean Bieber? Please do all a favor and make him disappear...

I ate a big red candle and a red candle seems to be popular... As for the baby and the bees... Not that everything else makes sense. People don't eat food anymore?

 Yes but if they are coughing fire away. It will muffle the sound... but not the smell...

For the highlighted one.. How many nipples you have??? As for the rest... Ew and nice (for the wet thing).

See how different men and women think? Although are there any women that don't give head? Do they still make em? If you ask me there are two kinds of women. Women that don't give head and women in loving relationships! (paraphrasing Chris rock).

One of the mysteries of the universe I guess... Along with is there life in other planets and the Boson particle.. Why cats like Hitler? I wait for your comments!