Stupidity and human evolution

In my previous post I mentioned how evolution stopped because we are flooded with dumb people.That's not entirely true. Stupidity in evolution seems to be advantageous... There I said it. Based on studies we aren't gonna get any smarter... at least with our physiology as it is now. I know that at some point we might be able to download information in our brains but that won't make us any smarter... More knowledgeable maybe...

Now if you look around you, you probably figured out you are at least somewhat smarter than the rest of the population... (especially if you read this blog!). Let's go to the political side of why stupidity helps evolution. Let's assume that 80% of the population is stupid. And if you know the 80%-20% rule this is most likely true. And we all can agree (well not entirely) that we have Democracy right now (we don't). That means the many outweigh the few... Congratulations! We have many stupid people choosing other stupid people to govern us. Want some examples?

Worked out well right? Ask the Greeks to tell you about stupid politicians... I always thought Bush was dumb... Till I saw Papandreou. Nuff said...So there goes the political aspect. Can't get any better with all the stupid people around.

Now what about the social aspect? If you are poor I can understand... Many reasons that got you in the poverty level. Three of those are in the above pictures. Now if you are poor AND dumb you probably don't know how to use one of these:

See I already found the target group for these condoms. And use one, not two. And this conversation doesn't count as birth control:

Her: Bob do you have one of these round things?

Him: Condoms? No I don't... last time I used em though I couldn't swallow them... No idea how you don't get pregnant with those...

Her: So what do we do?

Him: Don't worry I will pull out when  am about to come!

Her: You are so smart!

And yes they probably look like these two:

You can guess the rest... In 10 years they will probably have 10 babies. Her vagina will look like a star gate in the end. And judging from their parents they are doomed. So we have 2 dumb people making 10 more. Of course they will have no proper education and no money to buy books and computers and our tax money will pay for their food and so on. Brilliant!

While on the other hand we have two smart people having 1-2 kids. 2 kids can go to college and have an education. They can also have responsible parents because they aren't so hard to handle compared to the previous 10. So the worse thing they can get is some daddy issues for the girls and maybe a womanizer son. And as luck and Murphy's law have it they 'll end up dead from some drunk driver or brain tumor. Ever heard any dumbass having a brain tumor? you need to have a brain first. So dumb people win again.

Not to mention how difficult it is to find some smart woman or man to marry. Being a man I know I 'll probably end up with a girl like this:

On the psychological aspect again smart people have it hard because for them the "ignorance is bliss" isn't working. Dumb people have no ambition, serious dreams and worries. So I doubt you will find any dumb crazy people. Most people with high IQ tend to go insane. And others have serious sickness... Stephen Hawking for example. So in a psychological aspect smart people lose again.

Finally, and this is just my opinion, with modern medicine we live a lot more than our ancestors. Making us naturally polygamous creatures (spending 10+ years with the same person while your social circle is 1000+ and dealing with his/her bullshit? I doubt it..) Imagine back in the day with transportation being scarce and population being small how many women you could have? Then here comes religion and moralists saying we are supposed to be monogamous. I respect if YOU decide that you wanna be monogamous, but when someone else butts in and tells me what to do then I start thinking why? 

Take gay marriage for example. They say marriage is sacred and at the same time they tell us that we can have up to 3 marriages... Huh? So to reach a conclusion, being monogamous and sad because someone tells you you will go to hell for me it's stupid. Evolutionary we ended up like this. At least this is the only advantage I can see. On the downside that means dumb people can procreate more... Well diversity is always a good thing for the genes... Let's hope some Professor X mutation will happen or even better Einstein/Stephen Hawking one. 

Happy birthday Stephen Hawking. And have a great weekend for the rest!

Stupid safety signs

I have a theory to why so many dumb people exist around me. It's those stupid safety laws and signs. What do I mean with this? Darwin explained what Natural Selection is. It's when evolution happens and a male and a female meet that have the best chances of survival. Meaning they are probably smarter than the rest or they are faster so they can avoid dangerous animals that hunt them down and so on. It's a great theory and it is now proved to be real. If you are religious and you start talking about intelligent design I will slap you in the face with some facts on another post.

So Darwin WAS right. But not anymore. With all these stupid laws and signs we have, natural selection isn't true anymore. Can someone explain to me why there are signs like:

Do you think I reached this age without me knowing that? I see the floor being wet so I can understand it will be slippery! If you actually walk and watch where you are going this sign isn't needed. Unless you check your facebook on your smartphone and you don't watch where you are going... Dumbass.

If you need a sign for that too then you must be an idiot. Do all of us a favor and disappear...

The next one I am sure everyone has seen at least once.

First off this looks like a tourist attraction! "Watch how great is the gap!". If you are smart enough to look down there I bet you can figure that there will be a gap between you and the train. How to avoid this difficult life hazard? Take one leg and put it inside the train... then the next one... and all these while you watch WHERE THE FUCK YOU ARE GOING!

Ok you are in an escalator... My first thought without looking at the sign would be to actually hold the handrail... They took the time to put it there... it must be useful! Now I have a kid with me... Hmm what should I do? A) Let it figure out what to do, B) Hold his hand, C) Leave it there and come back in an hour to pick him up... Next is Keep Feet Away.. ok that doesn't make sense... so lets read the next line "From Side Panel"! Aaaah this was a trick! I have to read both lines to unlock the secret meaning! "Keep feet from side Panel!" wow! Thank God you let me know. I was about to stick both my feet on that... No idea how you can actually do that but still. Ok the next one is tricky... "Face Forward"! I wonder why they added thaaaaaargh!! Aaah that's why because in the end you will fall down if you face backwards... Very smart... I bet you needed an IQ of 150 to figure this out... "No baby strollers" ... Someone actually tried that? I see no reason why I shouldn't use my wheelchair then... And finally don't ride barefoot... I bet when you went out today you didn't get your shoes like you do all the time... Snap now you have to use the stairs and not the escalator...

They should also add to this: "Don't stand with one leg, the head 45 degrees on the left, the one arm up and the hip slightly to the right on the escalator". Don't laugh someone is bound to do it one day!

Why? I wanna run. I am late. How am I going to explain to the boss I don't have, that because there was this sign I couldn't run? Even running is hazardous nowadays... We came to that...

Who doesn't check to see how shallow a pool/lake/beach is? Do you see that kid that the water level is in his waist? Does that give you any clue on how shallow the water is? Do you need a sign for that?

Please try to figure out why? Maybe because when there is a fire electricity is cut off? or maybe because the elevator shaft might be also on fire? Or the mechanism that keeps the elevator from dropping might also be on fire? I will let you think about it while I use the stairs.

No stupidity doesn't qualify as a handicap. Park elsewhere jackass.

 So my advice is replace all these with this sign:

Dumb people and their pets

In case you haven't noticed I love animals. I was raised with animals of any kind. Cats, dogs, hamsters (not the dude from Top Gear..), fish, turtles, chicks, ducks etc. I also learned how to care for them and this helped me to care for people too (not the dumb ones). But some people I meet, see or read about own a pet for totally different reasons.

First off when you own a pet it's your job to care for it. Not the other way around. Don't expect the animal to love you just because you own it. It takes more than feeding it and petting it. Training it is a huge part of you showing it that you love it. Some years ago I was bitten by a dog and I punched his owner. The dog has no responsibility. It trusts you to teach it some things, like I don't know... not seeing everyone like a chew toy? Buying the dog various shit that you put in their mouth so they won't bit people just shows me how lazy you are. Do you think you would like to go around with it in your mouth? I doubt it. Neither the dog.

Another example that everyone must have experienced is a dog or cat that barks and meows respectively all day and all night. Again save an animal, punch their owners. There are ways to stop this behavior and since information nowadays is free for everyone it just shows how lazy they are.

Another thing that pisses me off with dumb people and their pets is when they go out and their pet is doing what we all do in the toilet and he leaves them there for others to admire. Hey, dumb ass would you like for me to come to your house and shit on your living room? Your pet can't do it so on your knees and off we go...

Others make their pets fat, others feed them all kinds of crap that make them unhealthy or even killing them (cancer), and others put clothes or even diapers on their pets! That's animal cruelty! And speaking of animal cruelty, stop giving your pets stupid names! Have you ever seen a wolf with the name Mrs Sparkles? Ever thought why your pets look at you when you are not watching? They plan on how to make your death look like an accident!

Most people own pets because they feel lonely. I can respect that, but animals are not a substitute for human contact. For example owning 1-2 cats is OK. Owning 15 cats means you are the "cat lady that will never find a man". Same with dogs. Owning 15 dogs is unhealthy. And I don't really give a damn about you but for the animals. There is no way you can feed, pet and train 15 animals every day if you have any kind of life.

A family I saw in TV in a popular show, spend 32,000 dollars each year to feed their two dogs. Do you know how much they spend in their own food? 12,000. IQ of a toad. Congratulations.

Some other fools even lose their lives because of their "pets". Take this genius for example. He kept a twelve foot python free in his house as a pet. So the pet at some point got hungry and  strangled him so it could eat him. Bad pet? Doubt it. Dumb owner? Most likely. As they say in the Darwin Awards books, "If you are stupid enough, nature takes care of you by destroying your genes so you won't spoil the next generation with your offspring."

Another "nuclear scientist" left his loaded gun on the back seat while he was driving with the dog to the forest so he could hunt. Now do the math: Loaded gun on the back seat + Dog on the back seat = Oh so much win... You can guess what happened. Police ruled out suicide given the wound on the back of the driver... Although it's as close as it gets...

This dude had 5 different species of poisonous spiders at his home and one day an earthquake happened and they got loose. You can imagine his happiness that he could at last play with his pets?

As I said in another post pets are an industry and they are "manufactured". Meaning the really small dogs for example didn't have ancestors in the last one hundred or two hundred years. Lab people made many hybrids starting from wolves, crossbreeding him and making him into small, small dogs that you now have in your homes. So what we have today is a whole industry with pets and pet food and small toys and houses, even pet hotels and grooming etc. Before you go and buy a pet, there are millions that have no house and people actually donate them. Save them and you will feel much better about yourself and gradually you will learn to love yourselves and those around you.

Stupidity Quotes

With Christmas and the vacations I got a bit busy so I will make it up to you next time. But till then, I found some great quotes you will be using a lot, every time you meet a stupid person... More or less 100 times a day... right? But first the definition of stupidity:

"Stupidity is the quality or condition of being stupid or lacking intelligence. This quality can be attributed to an individual himself or his actions, words or beliefs. The determination of who is stupid is difficult, despite attempts to measure intelligence (and thus stupidity) such as IQ tests. Stupidity is a poor ability to understand or to profit from experience. This one characteristic can make people pay heavy costs for being stupid at times."

And now the quotes from great men and women:

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
Albert Einstein

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
Elbert Hubbard

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Euripides

Get all the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything.
Frank Dane

Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain.
Friedrich von Schiller

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
George Bernard Shaw

To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost.
Gustave Flaubert

The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity.
Harlan Ellison

Ordinarily he was insane, but he had lucid moments when he was merely stupid.
Heinrich Heine

There are more fools in the world than there are people.
Heinrich Heine

There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.
Martin Luther King Jr.

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?
Scott Adams

Strange as it seems, no amount of learning can cure stupidity, and higher education positively fortifies it.
Stephen Vizinczey

Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Author Unknown

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
Author Unknown

Fools rush in where fools have been before.
Author Unknown

Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Author Unknown

To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered.
Voltaire

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
William Shakespeare

 

We are growing serious, and, let me tell you, that's the very next step to being dull.
Joseph Addison

Antidotes are what you take to prevent dotes.
Joseph Addison

Artificial intelligence will never be a match for natural stupidity.
Joseph Addison

With various readings stored his empty skull, Learn'd without sense, and venerably dull.
Charles Churchill

I find we are growing serious, and then we are in great danger of being dull.
William Congreve

The fool of nature stood with stupid eyes And gaping mouth, that testified surprise.
John Dryden

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
John Dryden

There are only two truly infinite things, the universe and stupidity. And I am unsure about the universe.
John Dryden

The fault rests with the gods, who have made her so stupid.
Jean B.L. de Gresset

He is not only dull himself, but the cause of dulness in others.
Samuel Johnson

Why, sir, Sherry is dull, naturally dull; but it must have taken him a great deal of pains to become what we now see him. Such an excess of stupidity, Sir, is not in Nature.
Samuel Johnson

The impenetrable stupidity of Prince George (son-in-law of James II) served his turn. It was his habit, when any news was told him, to exclaim, "Est il possible?"--"Is it possible?"
Thomas Babington Macaulay

I don't mind your thinking slowly; I mind your publishing faster than you think.
Thomas Babington Macaulay

The bookful blockhead, ignorantly read, With loads of learned lumber in his head.
Alexander Pope

If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?"
Alexander Pope

Against stupidity the very gods Themselves contend in vain.
Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller

A pity about the people! they are brave enough comrades, but they have heads like a soapboiler's.
Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller

When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty.
George Bernard Shaw

Peter was dull; he was at first Dull;--Oh, so dull--so very dull! Whether he talked, wrote, or rehearsed-- Still with his dulness was he cursed-- Dull--beyond all conception--dull.
Percy Bysshe Shelley

It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.
Percy Bysshe Shelley

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
Percy Bysshe Shelley

Personally, I have a great admiration for stupidity.
Oscar Wilde

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
Oscar Wilde

Things to look forward to in 2012

New year's eve at last. The highlight of the previous year for the whole world must have been how the Euro fucked up so hard that we actually had corporations lending countries so they can lend banks so they can lend other corporations to fund the countries that lend the banks of the corporations that.... OK that makes no sense I know. But guess what! The whole crisis makes no sense so fuck that.

So there are some things I look forward this year. 2012!

• At last the world will end! Yes there! I SAID IT! It's been a fun ride folks but after 3000 years I feel I saw it all. Genocides, natural disasters, the dark ages, wars, betrayals, the same religion broken down to 100 others, women and men not getting along and so on. I mean I see the same movie for like 3000+ years. This is my stop. Stop the earth, I wanna get off (metaphorically and literally). And then some smart people find a Mayan calendar and what is their conclusion? If the calendar ends it means the world will end. Hey, smartass if this January we ended up blowing ourselves up and some alien civilization came in June and found a calendar for 2012 do you think they would assume that since the calendar ends on December that the world will end at that time? Mayans didn't update their calendar, get over it. Can we move on now?

• Update your friggin laws. Some of them were written when we were running around the world with horses and chariots. Isn't it about time to update em? 
• Microsoft and Linux, Android and Apple, Ferrari and Lamborghini. Come on people ,stop fighting with each other and make a product that doesn't suck. Humanity must move on. I don't have to buy all the junk you have to offer me when you already have invented something better for the sake of how Marketing works. Want an example? I used to own a hard drive that cost 100 euros back in the day. Capacity? 100 MB. Now with the same money I can buy 1 TB. Don't tell me you didn't have the hint of technology back then. You are the reason we don't explore the galaxy by now. 
• I love animals more than anything. More than humans in fact. BUT in case you didn't know most of your pets are manufactured. What I mean? Do you think in ancient Egypt they had those tiny dogs we have today? I doubt it. So how we have them today when they didn't evolve from something? Food for thought. Pets are an industry today. Don't feed it. Having one pet I can understand. If you are the lady with the 100 cats or 20 dogs you have issues. Get over them and leave the poor animals for someone that can take care of them.
• CERN, Space program, etc. There are people in many countries that have no food to eat because your global economy fucked em up. Stop spending money in stupid shit that you can do when you have feed all the people on the earth. I am sure space and the boson particle can wait a decade. 

• Sorry for this it might sound harsh but if you have no food to eat, and you can't give your kids the basic things for their survival why you bring them in this world? 
• Ethnic pride. That's a great one! Just because you were born in a country you are proud about it. "I am a Greek, I am proud!", "I am a German, I am proud of it.". How the hell can you be proud about something you didn't achieve by yourself? It's like saying I am proud that I breath oxygen! Good for you. How come you are only proud about the good things your country did and not for all of its history. Oh come on, don't tell me you can't think of anything. Greeks for example had Efialtis that in the fight of the 300 in the Thermopules (and not the Hot Gates...) betrayed the other Greeks. So feeling proud about him too?
• People and their resolutions. Why make a list of things you will do this year, when you will probably only do them for the next month if you are lucky and then forget about it? You people probably use the same list every year. Stop writing shit and do them.

• Men and women should start getting along at some point. I know you are insecure and you have the need to flaunt your peacock feathers (your sports car and your boobs respectively), but for the rest of us you just seem pathetic. Stop flirting for 5 years and get to the point where you have sex. Do all of us a favor. Unless you are dumb. Then have sex but use a condom... permanently. We don't need more stupid people, thank you.

So these are some of the things I look forward to. That and a cure for stupidity... But that's just far fetched...

Happy New Year and thank you for being with me these past 3 months!

Christmas song and letters!

It's Christmas and dumb people are all over the place as usual. But for this post let's forget about them and sing some songs and laugh at some letters sent to Santa by kids (I hope)!

For starters we have Jeff Dunham and Achmed the Dead Terrorist singing Jingle bombs. This video was shown to me by a friend that was piss drunk yesterday... He actually picked up Mike (my hamster) threw it down (you bastard!) and yelled "Pikachu, I Summon you!". And then he told me to see this video. Relevance? None but still I should have recorded the whole thing for proof... 

Of course, today when I told him how cool the video he showed me was didn't remember a thing. Not even the video...So for you religious people I call this my Christmas miracle.

So now let's read some letters sent to Santa. I already got you in the mood with the Christmas song sooooo...

 

Damn it I didn't know he could do that... Can I ask for a big fat account too? 

Tommy what do you want a Lady Gaga doll for? Oh... never mind... Kids are getting a little feisty nowadays...

Rudolph Rest in Pieces...?

 So what is a Blumpkin?

 Santa I think you need to get a Twitter, a cell phone, a facebook account, a Google plus account and create an app to sort all the kid's letters. Now stop reading this and text the kid's dad for the list!

 No idea why he wrote a letter to Santa about the flight but hey, don't screw the landing Santa!

Hehe, 8 months and already literate... at least more than most people I know... in work...

And finally a letter that my cat wrote. 

 So Merry Christmas everyone. Have fun and enjoy life!

Why Santa can't exist...

(I take no credit for the following. post. I think whoever first wrote should step up and take credit because it's funny and genius at the same time!)

If you believe in Santa or you are under 14 stop reading now! I warned you!

• No known species of reindeer can fly, but there are 300,000 species of organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.
  
• There are 2 billion children (defined as persons under 18) in the world; However, since Santa doesn't appear to handle Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or Buddhist children, that reduces the workload down to 15% of the original total - 378 million according to the Population Reference Bureau. At an average census rate of 3.5 children per household, that's only 91.8 million homes. One presumes that there is at least one good child in each.

• Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west. This works out to 822.6 visits per second. That is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh, and move on to the next house.
  Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which we know to be false but will accept for the purpose of these calculations), we are talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus eating, etc. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second. A conventional reindeer can run 15 miles per hour at the most.

• The payload on the sleigh add another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-size set of Lego building blocks (about two pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that flying reindeer exist (see point 1), can fly very quickly (see point 2), and can pull ten times the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine, reindeer. We would need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparision, this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth 2. 
• 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance. This would heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they would burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake.
  The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within .00426 seconds. Santa, meanwhile, would be subjected to forces 17,500 times greater than normal gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force. In conclusion, if Santa ever did deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.
  
  Merry Christmas.