Dumb people in the news (part 2)

When I started this some days ago I never thought I 'd have more than 2-3 news to post every week. Oh how wrong I was... I will probably have to split them because 7 billion people and the internet are not really helping. News travel fast from all over the world and stupid people are literally everywhere and they make their presence as clear as a one of those products that say we kill 99.9% of the bacteria in your sink or wherever. 

Which brings me to another point. Why 99.9%? Is it on purpose to avoid a lawsuit in case something that will have legs appears inside your house? "well we said 99.9% so we are not liable!" or so the remaining 0.01% goes back to where the rest live and say "Oh my gawd, do not go in there! You will die bitches!!!"...

Before I start I have to thank Huffpost for the news! ( http://www.huffingtonpost.com ).

"Tutu-Wearing Burglar Joshua Mahlon Baker Caught With Pants Down -- Literally"

Early Wednesday morning, San Diego police apprehended a suspect who was allegedly attempting to rob musical instruments and electronic equipment from a church -- wearing little more than a t-shirt and a purple tutu -- with nothing underneath.

A resident reported seeing a tall, suspicious-looking person dressed in what appeared to be an oversize T-shirt and a sparkly purple tutu loading a guitar amplifier into a truck outside Palisades Presbyterian Church. 

Officers arrived to find the suspect, Joshua Mahlon Baker, 39, carrying a trash can filled with property allegedly stolen from the house of worship.

Authorities say when the 6-foot-3-inch, 190-pound Baker saw the police on the scene, he dropped the trash can and ran off to the north between two buildings and climbed a 6-foot chain link fence, losing his clothes in the process.
After the cops caught Baker, the person who placed the initial call positively identified him and Baker was arrested and charged with burglary and obstructing an officer.

What can I possibly say? One of the rules of thieves (If they don't exist I think it's time someone wrote a manual) is to be as subtle as possible... not an attention whore. Even if you were great at moving the shit you stole without anyone notice, I think that purple tutu is a bit of a give away... Not to mention you being 6'3 and your dick in the breeze! Then he starts running and climbs a linked fence... naked... BRO you will hurt yourself! Some people are so stupid it reaches new levels... I blame the solar storm and the full moon personally...

"Joseph Cordes Allegedly Aims Laser Pointer At Eyes Of High School Goalie In Massachusetts"

WINTHROP, Mass. — A Massachusetts man accused of aiming a laser pointer into the eyes of the opposing goalie at his daughter's high school hockey game is facing criminal charges.

Authorities announced Tuesday that 42-year-old Joseph Cordes will be summoned to East Boston District Court to face a charge of disturbing the peace.

Police say Cordes pointed the light at the Medway/Ashland goalie during a Feb. 29 tournament game in Winthrop, north of Boston. He was ordered out of the arena by a school official.

Winthrop won 3-1, prompting a protest from the Medway/Ashland parents who asked that the game be replayed. The governing body of high school sports in Massachusetts denied the appeal.

Cordes hasn't been arrested. He tells WBZ-TV he feels "like a complete jerk" and humiliated his daughter.

I bet this father has 100 bumper stickers reading: "My kid is awesome, she can eat her whole food in 13,23 minutes"  and many cute non-sense like that. If even your kid farting makes you proud, you have some issues. I bet you wanted to give something back to her by cheating and humiliating her in her school right? Feeling like a complete jerk will make it all better. I can imagine how her classmates will treat the poor girl after this. 

Then people ask why teen suicide rates are going up. Stop meddling. Even losing a game gives valuable lessons to kids. Or else they will learn about it, if they can't find a job when they grow up or they get fired from their job.This whole "Everyone is a winner" even if you lose is such bullshit. Some rough love never hurt anyone. World would be a better place if kids, teens and adults weren't bubble-wrapped by their parents and society. It gives some motivation to try harder if you feel like a loser all the time.

"Plastic Surgery For Dog: Denise And David Smart Spend $13,000 On Junior The Bloodhound"

An English couple dropped more than $13,000 on a tummy tuck, facelift and other surgeries for their dog, Junior, over the past two years -- effectively saving him from blindness, The Daily Mail reported.

The 5-year-old pooch suffers from a rare disease that causes excess skin to develop on the body, leaving Junior nearly immobile and unable to see because skin flaps had grown over his eyes.

Owners Denise and David Smart admit that some of the surgeries were strictly cosmetic, rather than medically significant.

"It's taken years off him and he does look like a young man again," Denise Smart told the site. "Before the operation he was fed up and looked like a grumpy old man. Now he's more mobile and he's got a new lease on life."

It took vets several long operations to redo his face and, in his most recent surgery, to insert 39 stitches that gave him a taut tummy.

The couple -- which has pet insurance -- said that they wanted Junior to be more like his father, a Crufts dog show champion.

Pet plastic surgery has grown in popularity over last last few years. Performed nose jobs have risen 25 percent over three years totaling $2.5 million, with another $1.6 million being spent on eye-lifts.

There are also Neuticles, silicone testicles for neutered dogs who want to maintain pride and self esteem.

I love animals and you already know it. Maybe more than humans and especially stupid humans. My problem is that spending all these money for cosmetic reasons is 1) dumb because of the money (although I know rich people spending more on their pets in one year than 10 families spend in themselves in 10 years) and 2) if you want to make the pet more beautiful so you can love it and more importantly to show it off, you are as shallow as everyone imagined after reading this. As for the fake balls... it's not for the pets, it's for their owners because they overcompensate for their lack of.

 Again these are for normal people. I won't even go how much rich people spend on their pets. Research about the dog in the Oscars what it wore on its neck. And let me know...

Dumb people in the news (part 1)

As I already said in previous posts the great thing about my blog is that you will never end up with no stories... People are so stupid they are making it to the news nowadays. I might come off as insensitive in some of these but honestly I don't care.

So from now on I 'll be making posts like these, any time I see something I find incredibly stupid in the news. Sometimes I might do 2-3 in a day, depends... So here is our first new for the day:

"A Sri Lankan man has died while trying to set a record for the longest time spent buried alive.

Police said Janaka Basnayake, 24, buried himself over the weekend with the help of family and friends in a trench sealed with wood and soil in the town of Kantale, about 220 kilometres north of Sri Lanka's capital, Colombo. A local newspaper reported that the trench was three metres deep.

Basnayake was buried about 9.30am on Saturday. Police said when he was brought to the surface at 4pm, he was unconscious and was taken to a hospital, where he was pronounced dead on arrival.

Dr D G Costa of the Kantale hospital said a post-mortem examination could not determine the cause of death and further medical investigations are being conducted.

Basnayake's mother, L D Leelawathi, said her son had enjoyed performing unusual acts since his childhood - a liking that grew after watching movies, the Lankadeepa newspaper reported.

It quoted her as saying that her son had been buried alive on two previous occasions - for two and a half hours and six hours respectively.

It was unclear whether there is an official world record for the longest time buried alive.

Police said Basnayake was a member of the Civil Defence Force, a police unit that fought in the country's 25-year civil war."

What can I possibly say without being insensitive? Natural Selection I guess... Although this is probably going to the Darwin Awards. As for the unknown cause of death I will take a wild guess and say... "BURIED ALIVE MAYBE????". It's like when you are 80 years old, no matter how you die it's natural causes. If a truck hits you, it's natural cause. If you were younger you 'd probably avoid it! (Dave Chappelle or Chris Rock can't remember).

So our next story again is a bit sensitive but here we go:

A three-year-old US girl is lucky to be alive after swallowing 37 high-powered magnet balls.

Payton Bushnell was taken to Randall Children's Hospital in Portland, Oregon, suffering stomach pains last week.

Doctors eventually took an x-ray of her stomach after her symptoms failed to get better.

"They saw a circle had formed in her stomach and they thought she swallowed a bracelet," Payton's mother Kelli Bushnell told KPTV.

Doctors said the magnets had snapped the toddler's intestines together and ripped three holes in her lower intestine and one in her stomach.

She underwent surgery and is expected to make a full recovery.

Randall Children's Hospital nurse Sandy Ripper said she was shocked to hear how many magnets the little girl had swallowed.

"In all the research I have done, I have never seen any child swallow more than 10 magnets," she said.

I have to say that Natural Selection is hindered by advanced science but anyway. Some questions... Where were these magnets? Why have these in the house when you have a "hungry" 3 year old? How lucky is the kid that they didn't do an MRI on her? They actually make research on how many magnets a kid will swallow? If you can answer any of these please leave your comments... 

From now on, people should take tests to have children. I insist on this. First test? An x-ray: