Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Twilight sucks (part 1)

I tried so hard not to make an obvious post like this but I couldn't stand the stupidity of it any more. I also have to say that I saw the first one when it came out and I was awe'd at its stupidly unimaginative script. In case you got confused it's NOT a Vampire story. I have seen many Vampire stories and not once I have seen Vampires glow in the sun. That is not a Vampire. It's more like a transvestite than anything else. Also they feed in animal blood... seriously? Cold blood killers spare humans because they are moral... Oook... I don't know what the chick that wrote it was smoking but please share the crack pipe.
There are so many parts I wanna comment that seemed to me like the whole movie was written by people that 1) had never been laid before, 2) they are under 14, 3) they have never seen any kind of movie before, 4) their research was puny, 5) it targeted soccer moms and girls under 16. (I could reach number 100 but you get the point hopefully).

So what the movie is all about? A 100 plus year old Vampire falls in love with a 16 year old girl... So we already have out first paraphilia. Next obviously the Vampire is retarded because after 100 years falling in love with your food is a bit weird. Especially if the 16 year old girl as the book says is average. I bet that if you had his powers you 'd go after PlayBoy models or Victoria's Secret angels. But no. As my roommate told me, in the book while the writer (you 'll excuse my term writer), describes the Vampire as someone of extreme attractiveness, it never describes the girl's appearance. Meaning any girl can put herself in the heroine's shoes.
Honestly after this movie came out many people in Hollywood were pleased because if a movie like that became a hit their script will probably be made into an epic movie, but at the same time they were like what the fuck, when producers or agents reject their scripts and choose a movie like that to be produced... What can I say my fellow humans... I am with you...

I even lost my faith to imdb... Rating: 5.3 Were you high or something? So I continue with the review (which I have to confess since I haven't watched any other parts besides the first and half of the third movie... which I was blackmailed by a girl to see and I fell asleep halfway, most of the reviews are not mine but I took them from other sites discussing how dumb this movie was).

Every girl keeps saying how romantic this movie is... Am I the only one that finds this creepy:
Then after 100 years you are still doomed to be in highschool even if you look like you are 20+. I remember a girl we had in highschool that has stayed in the same grade for like 5 years. We used to look at her like a loser not a phenomenon... Times changed I guess... Then again as my roommate informed me the 2 words you find mostly in the book are: perfect and awesome... Brilliant writing if you ask me. It sometimes help to use a dictionary to find synonyms. Then we also have the werewolves where surprise, surprise they can transform any time they want not just in a full moon... So we can easily call them pokemons and not werewolves. 

Then we have a scene where the Vampires play baseball... What's the point in playing a game that has human rules when you have superpowers? Show off to Bella obviously... Next time I will take my food in a football game to impress it before I eat it... or in Twilight's version before I marry it and have sex with it. Speaking of marriage, it's funny how Natural Selection works. Since all women that like this abomination will always Edward to appear in their lives and they will obviously die alone, their stupid genes will get weeded out of the gene pool. Nice!
In the movies Bella almost dies a thousand times and the doggie and sparkles save her all the time... Seriously it's getting boring after the one hundredth time... Especially when in the first scene where a car is about to crash her (oh why it didn't?) Sparkles saves her in front of everyone... There goes the cover. Then again on the alley where let's be honest he was stalking her and he gets pissed because he can read minds... So now we don't only have ehem Vampire but X-man professor X powers?

Imagine also that while Bella is so plain and average everyone falls for her in the first 2 chapters (or so they tell me). That's weird a bit? The only part I liked it the anti-feminism message Bella sends that the man should be a man and woman should be a woman... Of course again she took it to the extreme where Sparkles and Doggie are super humans and Bella is almost useless to do anything by herself... Not to mention the parental thing where her father doesn't really give a crap about what she does... 

 More on part 2...

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Dumb people in the news (part 3)

Honestly I think some of these are PR stunts, the journalist had no inspiration so he hired people to do something stupid or people are indeed idiots... Which if you think about it, the later seems more plausible... Again a special thanks to www.huffingtonpost.com for the news!

"George Washington Chicken Nugget: Bite-Size Shaped Like First President Sells For $8,100"

DAKOTA CITY, Neb. — Call it McWashington.
A Nebraska woman has sold a three-year-old McDonald's Chicken McNugget that resembles President George Washington for $8,100 on eBay.
Rebekah Speight of Dakota City sold the McNugget to raise money for a drive to raise $15,000 and send 50 children to summer church camp in Sioux City.
Speight says her children didn't eat the chicken during a McDonald's visit three years ago. She was about to toss it, then spotted Washington's resemblance. Speight stashed the McNugget in her freezer.
eBay had temporarily taken down the auction last month because it violated rules regulating expired food.
She later received an email saying the site was "willing to make exceptions to help your cause."

The resemblance is unmistakable... Ehm... This nugget looks exactly like .. a nugget! True Story. If not for the drive to raise the money I 'd empty my hatred to the generous people... *cough* *cough* that made this huge contribution to humankind... I mean I've never seen someone look so intensely at their food in case it looks like a celebrity... I am of to buy a hamburger... If I bite it right it might look like Lady Gaga and sell it, to make some bucks for the "Fight Stupidity LLC" I wanna create. Don't tell me it's not a noble cause?

"Dion Anthony, Memphis Cop, Allegedly Broadcast Sex Over Radio"

Here is some advice from Memphis, Tenn., Sergeant Karen Rudolph that might have saved a police officer accused of having sex in his squad car a bit of trouble:
"Anytime you communicate via a handheld or console microphone you want to remain professional."
That's what Rudolph told MyFox Memphis when asked about officer Dion Anthony, who is accused of broadcasting his on-duty sexual encounter over his police radio.
According to the station, not only could all on-duty officers hear what Anthony was allegedly doing, but so could anyone with a police scanner.
Anthony has been suspended and the audio recording has not been released.
ABC 24 in Memphis got reaction to the burgeoning scandal from local residents.
"I guess that's what they call working overtime,” quipped resident Denett Davis.
Never one to be out-snarked, Perez Hilton gave his take on his website:
"Hopefully he protected himself while serving his partner!" Hilton wrote.
Bro, seriously if you are about to have sex in the house do you leave the windows open? Do you call everyone and leave the phone open? Do you open your webcam so everyone can watch? (At least get paid to do it...). I was making fun of the dumb criminals in another post but to be fair some cops are just as stupid (every profession has them...). At least he is not as bad as this fellow:
Having sex with cows? Seriously? And then you *wink* *wink* milk them? Bring some more nuggets to buy this man a prostitute or a girlfriend... I can imagine him in a steak house crying and eating his girlfriend... OK, I will stop because I have way too many black humor jokes...

"Vibrating Tattoo Patented By Nokia Alerts Users When Phone Rings"

Finnish mobile phone developer Nokia has filed for a patent on a magnetic, vibrating tattoo or badge that alerts users when their phones are ringing.
According to the official patent filing, the apparatus would be able to detect a magnetic field and transfer a "perceivable stimulus" to users. The device could notify people about an incoming call, text or dead battery.
The Wall Street Journal obtained a copy of the patent application, which lists four inventors and a file date of Sept. 13, 2011.
The device could take different forms, including a visible tattoo, label or badge, that could be set to emit different vibration patterns -- much like customized ringtones -- to distinguish between different callers, according to the report.

Are people stupid? With so many magnetic fields your body will vibrate all the time... Not to mention the dudes with full body tattoos will go haywire... BUT I have something to suggest. And I want the patent for this. Tattoo on the clitoris or the penis or the nipples... With all the cell phones all over the place you'd break the world record on orgasms in a day, lifetime etc... Thank me later Nokia.



Monday, March 19, 2012

Famous "failures" (part 2)

Again I didn't post like scheduled, but I found some news to make it up to you, so after this post in a day or so I will post them. But to our original subject, I think the only person that can stop you from realizing your dreams is you and you only. People will tell you all kinds of stuff because they don't want to see anyone climbing above them. One good example is how everyone is your friend when you tell them "I lost my job", but everyone will secretly hate you and stop hanging around you when you get a raise or a promotion, because you remind them of their shortcomings. 

Life isn't fair but that is a good thing. If life was fair only the rich, handsome, smart people would have the "right" to climb the social ladder. I mean come on look at the Congress, the various politicians all around the world etc... But now it's fair game. You need to use talent and if you don't have talent, use hard work, if you don't want to work hard make some connections that will take you to where you wanna go. There is always a solution to any problem. And if not whining about it won't get you anywhere. So let's see some more people that climbed the ladder ignoring everyone else.

When he was young, he did very poorly in grade school, so poor that his teachers became clueless in improving his grades. He was the greatest English mathematician of his generation and one of the greatest scientists the world has ever known. His name was Isaac Newton.
He was turned down by Toyota Motor Corporation during a job interview as engineer after WW2. He continued to be jobless until his neighbors started buying his home made scooters. Subsequently he started his own company. His name was Honda Soichiro. His company is now the world's largest motorcycle manufacturer and one o the most profitable automakers, leaving GM and Chrysler behind.
During his childhood, he dropped out of junior high school. He was persuaded to come back and was placed in a learning disabled class. He only lasted for a month before dropping out of school forever. He has won 3 Academy Awards and ranks among the most successful filmmakers in history. His name is Steven Spielberg.
When he was a boy his teacher told him that he is too stupid to learn anything. When he set out on his own he failed 9000 times (or as he said "I found 9000 ways of how not to make one) to make the first working light bulb. He is considered one of the most prolific inventors in history holding 1,093 U.S. patents to his name. (Tesla did help a lot though). His name was Thomas Edison.
He failed the 6th grade. However that never stopped him to work harder. He strived and eventually became the Prime Minister of the Unite Kingdom during the Second World War. He is regarded as one of the most important leaders in Britain and world history. His name was Winston Churchill.
His aunt Mimi said he would never make a living playing guitar. They were turned down by a recording company who said "we don't like their sound, guitar music is on its way out". People know them today with the name The Beatles.
 A failed soldier, farmer and real estate agent, at 38 years old he went to work for his father as a handyman. He did not need or want the presidency and entered the White House with considerable reluctance. His name was Ulysses S. Grant.

So i you never failed, never took chances, you never lived. Finally a video I found that will teach you one or two things. Next time someone tells you it's impossible, you can't do something, you are daydreaming and you better come down and touch the Earth again remember this video:
And this video:

 And finally in a world where the people "Up there" want US stupid say no. Keep on thinking, keep yourself up and remember that if some of us didn't make the impossible possible we 'd still be in caves and think Sun is God and the earth is flat. Charlie Chaplin one of the greatest comedians in mute movies talked in the next video and all his wisdom became apparent. Till next time... Farewell.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Famous "failures" (part 1)

The worse problem with people that are stupid is how they put down others with their actions and their words. If they were left to their own devices our world would have been very very different... In a bad way.

It takes a stupid person to put you down, but it takes a smart person to continue following their dreams. Here is a list of the people that bypassed people that couldn't appreciate their talent, dedication and hard work:

He did not speak till age four and did not read till age seven. He was "mentally slow, unsociable and adrift forever in foolish dreams". His parents thought he was mentally retarded. His grades in school were so poor that his teacher asked him to quit, saying "You will never amount to anything". His name was Albert Einstein. In 1921 he won the Nobel Prize in Physics. He was regarded the most important scientist of the 20th century.
He was told "Boy, who you kiddin? You can't slam no ball". He was cut from his high school basketball team, went to his house, locked himself in his room and cried. In 1992 he played summer Olympics with the original Dream Team. His name was Michael Jordan. Probably the only man that could fly.
He gave up his Medical career, his dad told him, "You care for nothing but shooting, dogs and rat catching". Even today many don't agree with him but he became the father of modern Biology and the founder of Natural Selection as means of evolution. His name was Charles Darwin.
He handled the violin awkwardly. His teacher called him "hopeless as a composer". While completely deaf he wrote five of his greatest symphonies. His name is Ludvig van Beethoven.
Disneyland was rejected by the city of Anaheim, he was bankrupt several times and said that all our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them. His name was Walt Disney.
He received no more than 5 years of formal education throughout his lifetime. When he grew up, he joined politics and had 12 major failures (his sweetheart died and had a nervous breakdown) before he was elected the 16th President of the United States. His name was Abraham Lincoln.
 A Harvard University dropout, started his company by buying the software technology from "someone" for only 50$ back then. He was no good in grammar, civic studies and other subjects, ignored physical training, but not because he was among these kids. He revolutionized personal computers and founded the company today known as Microsoft. His name is Bill Gates. One of the richest people in the past 10 years.
 In 1947, one year into her contract, she was dropped by 20th Century Fox, because her producer thought she was unattractive and cannot act. That didn't deter her at all and she kept on going, eventually recognized by the public as the 20th century's most famous movie star, sex symbol and pop icon. Her name was Marilyn Monroe.
Can you imagine if these people had their wings cut off by the stupid people that couldn't recognize them how different OUR life would be? But there are more.... On part 2!

Friday, March 9, 2012

Dumb people in the news (part 2)

When I started this some days ago I never thought I 'd have more than 2-3 news to post every week. Oh how wrong I was... I will probably have to split them because 7 billion people and the internet are not really helping. News travel fast from all over the world and stupid people are literally everywhere and they make their presence as clear as a one of those products that say we kill 99.9% of the bacteria in your sink or wherever. 

Which brings me to another point. Why 99.9%? Is it on purpose to avoid a lawsuit in case something that will have legs appears inside your house? "well we said 99.9% so we are not liable!" or so the remaining 0.01% goes back to where the rest live and say "Oh my gawd, do not go in there! You will die bitches!!!"...
Before I start I have to thank Huffpost for the news! ( http://www.huffingtonpost.com ).

"Tutu-Wearing Burglar Joshua Mahlon Baker Caught With Pants Down -- Literally"

Early Wednesday morning, San Diego police apprehended a suspect who was allegedly attempting to rob musical instruments and electronic equipment from a church -- wearing little more than a t-shirt and a purple tutu -- with nothing underneath.
A resident reported seeing a tall, suspicious-looking person dressed in what appeared to be an oversize T-shirt and a sparkly purple tutu loading a guitar amplifier into a truck outside Palisades Presbyterian Church. 
Officers arrived to find the suspect, Joshua Mahlon Baker, 39, carrying a trash can filled with property allegedly stolen from the house of worship.
Authorities say when the 6-foot-3-inch, 190-pound Baker saw the police on the scene, he dropped the trash can and ran off to the north between two buildings and climbed a 6-foot chain link fence, losing his clothes in the process.
After the cops caught Baker, the person who placed the initial call positively identified him and Baker was arrested and charged with burglary and obstructing an officer.
What can I possibly say? One of the rules of thieves (If they don't exist I think it's time someone wrote a manual) is to be as subtle as possible... not an attention whore. Even if you were great at moving the shit you stole without anyone notice, I think that purple tutu is a bit of a give away... Not to mention you being 6'3 and your dick in the breeze! Then he starts running and climbs a linked fence... naked... BRO you will hurt yourself! Some people are so stupid it reaches new levels... I blame the solar storm and the full moon personally...

"Joseph Cordes Allegedly Aims Laser Pointer At Eyes Of High School Goalie In Massachusetts"

WINTHROP, Mass. — A Massachusetts man accused of aiming a laser pointer into the eyes of the opposing goalie at his daughter's high school hockey game is facing criminal charges.
Authorities announced Tuesday that 42-year-old Joseph Cordes will be summoned to East Boston District Court to face a charge of disturbing the peace.
Police say Cordes pointed the light at the Medway/Ashland goalie during a Feb. 29 tournament game in Winthrop, north of Boston. He was ordered out of the arena by a school official.
Winthrop won 3-1, prompting a protest from the Medway/Ashland parents who asked that the game be replayed. The governing body of high school sports in Massachusetts denied the appeal.
Cordes hasn't been arrested. He tells WBZ-TV he feels "like a complete jerk" and humiliated his daughter.
I bet this father has 100 bumper stickers reading: "My kid is awesome, she can eat her whole food in 13,23 minutes"  and many cute non-sense like that. If even your kid farting makes you proud, you have some issues. I bet you wanted to give something back to her by cheating and humiliating her in her school right? Feeling like a complete jerk will make it all better. I can imagine how her classmates will treat the poor girl after this. 
Then people ask why teen suicide rates are going up. Stop meddling. Even losing a game gives valuable lessons to kids. Or else they will learn about it, if they can't find a job when they grow up or they get fired from their job.This whole "Everyone is a winner" even if you lose is such bullshit. Some rough love never hurt anyone. World would be a better place if kids, teens and adults weren't bubble-wrapped by their parents and society. It gives some motivation to try harder if you feel like a loser all the time.

"Plastic Surgery For Dog: Denise And David Smart Spend $13,000 On Junior The Bloodhound"

An English couple dropped more than $13,000 on a tummy tuck, facelift and other surgeries for their dog, Junior, over the past two years -- effectively saving him from blindness, The Daily Mail reported.
The 5-year-old pooch suffers from a rare disease that causes excess skin to develop on the body, leaving Junior nearly immobile and unable to see because skin flaps had grown over his eyes.
Owners Denise and David Smart admit that some of the surgeries were strictly cosmetic, rather than medically significant.
"It's taken years off him and he does look like a young man again," Denise Smart told the site. "Before the operation he was fed up and looked like a grumpy old man. Now he's more mobile and he's got a new lease on life."
It took vets several long operations to redo his face and, in his most recent surgery, to insert 39 stitches that gave him a taut tummy.
The couple -- which has pet insurance -- said that they wanted Junior to be more like his father, a Crufts dog show champion.
Pet plastic surgery has grown in popularity over last last few years. Performed nose jobs have risen 25 percent over three years totaling $2.5 million, with another $1.6 million being spent on eye-lifts.
There are also Neuticles, silicone testicles for neutered dogs who want to maintain pride and self esteem.
I love animals and you already know it. Maybe more than humans and especially stupid humans. My problem is that spending all these money for cosmetic reasons is 1) dumb because of the money (although I know rich people spending more on their pets in one year than 10 families spend in themselves in 10 years) and 2) if you want to make the pet more beautiful so you can love it and more importantly to show it off, you are as shallow as everyone imagined after reading this. As for the fake balls... it's not for the pets, it's for their owners because they overcompensate for their lack of.
 Again these are for normal people. I won't even go how much rich people spend on their pets. Research about the dog in the Oscars what it wore on its neck. And let me know...

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Green myths (part 3)

I bet you still try to wrap your head around the first 2 parts of the green myths. I also hope that you did your research and found sources about the things I talk about here. I'd love to put them up here but I want the people to learn to research and not be biased to what I say and the links I will provide.
I bet you 'd research those...
 
Next time someone tells you that we need to start growing more trees (more than the ones we already have??) tell him this: Forests in the tropical belt around the equator benefit the planet. They absorb CO2­, in a process called carbon sequestering, which helps lower temperatures. It's the forests outside of the tropics that may have little or no impact on climate change. Wait what? Since school everyone told you how forests help... They lied?

The farther away from the equator forests are, the more likely they are to trap heat in their dense canopies, raising temperatures. This is known as the albedo effect. In a study conducted by the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory, Carnegie Institution and Université Montpellier II, scientists found that forests in mid-to-high latitudes could increase temperatures by up to 10 degrees F (5.5 degrees C) in the next 100 years than if those forests were not there. I bet you hate me already...
So since we are treehugging let's go to our very favorite forest of myths! Yes the Amazon! Amazon forests are disappearing right? This is what everyone says... Actually only a 12.5% of the original Forest is deforested. And 1/3rd to 1/2nd o that is fallow or regenerating... Meaning that we are left with a whooping 94%. Now I don't know about you but still this isn't how terrible they present it on TV eco news.

Forest acreage is actually increasing. In 1920 U.S. forest covered 732 million acres and today it covers 737 million acres. In Europe forests expanded from 361 million acres in 1950 to 482 million in 1990.

Also they say that Amazon forests are the lungs of the earth. Not true. Only the fast growing young trees that take up CO2 and releasing oxygen. When a tree falls the chemical reaction is: Wood + oxygen = CO2. And this is a major problem with the forests there.I don't say we should go and make em paper but still things aren't as many want them to appear.
Not that Amazon dummy...

Also everyone talks about CO2 being a pollutant and the enemy of all humanity... This is absolutely not true. Nitrogen forms 80% of our atmosphere. We could not live in 100% nitrogen either. Carbon dioxide is no more a pollutant than nitrogen is.  CO2 is essential to life on earth. It is necessary for plant growth since increased CO2 intake as a result of increased atmospheric concentration causes many trees and other plants to grow more vigorously. Unfortunately, the Canadian Government has included  CO2 with a number of truly toxic and noxious substances listed by the Environmental Protection Act, only as their means to politically control it. 

Now don't tell me that we should make more factories to increase it. As it is now, it's OK I assume. Either way it is less than 3% of the total atmosphere "cocktail".

Now as for the ozone layer and how we destroy it... On October 1, 1999, CNN reported that "the latest NASA images of the ozone layer shows that a hole in the atmospheric layer that protects Earth from the sun's harmful radiation is shrinking. This year's ozone hole is smaller than last year's, (but) scientists say it will be a while before the hole disappears completely -- 2060 at the earliest." Really? I thought every chicken little said that it will eventually grow till we are all under water and the sun's radiation will kill us all...
Another recent report either ignored or rejected out of hand by environmental activists came from Beijing in June of this year. A professor of geological sciences named Yang Xuexiang wrote in the May Chinese edition of the Scientific American magazine that solar wind is the root cause of the ozone hole, rather than the use of freon.
Yang makes the argument that solar wind has made the atmosphere at the South Pole thinner, and that the eruption of volcanoes in the southern hemisphere has released large amounts harmful gas, contributing to the hole. Another factor is that the solar high-energy particle currents consume ozone both at the South Pole and the North Pole when they enter the earth's atmosphere.
Yang makes the point that the northern hemisphere is where the use of freon is most prevalent and so if the freon theory is correct, the ozone hole should have appeared above the North Pole instead of the South Pole.

So my final point to close these green myths is that use your brain, make research and of course don't through your trash all over the place. We already have a huge problem in space not just earth. Imagine we take so much space with our trash... where... in friggin space! Finally question why there is such a huge movement called green. It is green for another reason than you think:
As much as I believe in the good in people, I doubt corporations do anything without earning a buck or two or millions... Food for thought...