Friday, March 9, 2012

Dumb people in the news (part 2)

When I started this some days ago I never thought I 'd have more than 2-3 news to post every week. Oh how wrong I was... I will probably have to split them because 7 billion people and the internet are not really helping. News travel fast from all over the world and stupid people are literally everywhere and they make their presence as clear as a one of those products that say we kill 99.9% of the bacteria in your sink or wherever. 

Which brings me to another point. Why 99.9%? Is it on purpose to avoid a lawsuit in case something that will have legs appears inside your house? "well we said 99.9% so we are not liable!" or so the remaining 0.01% goes back to where the rest live and say "Oh my gawd, do not go in there! You will die bitches!!!"...
Before I start I have to thank Huffpost for the news! ( ).

"Tutu-Wearing Burglar Joshua Mahlon Baker Caught With Pants Down -- Literally"

Early Wednesday morning, San Diego police apprehended a suspect who was allegedly attempting to rob musical instruments and electronic equipment from a church -- wearing little more than a t-shirt and a purple tutu -- with nothing underneath.
A resident reported seeing a tall, suspicious-looking person dressed in what appeared to be an oversize T-shirt and a sparkly purple tutu loading a guitar amplifier into a truck outside Palisades Presbyterian Church. 
Officers arrived to find the suspect, Joshua Mahlon Baker, 39, carrying a trash can filled with property allegedly stolen from the house of worship.
Authorities say when the 6-foot-3-inch, 190-pound Baker saw the police on the scene, he dropped the trash can and ran off to the north between two buildings and climbed a 6-foot chain link fence, losing his clothes in the process.
After the cops caught Baker, the person who placed the initial call positively identified him and Baker was arrested and charged with burglary and obstructing an officer.
What can I possibly say? One of the rules of thieves (If they don't exist I think it's time someone wrote a manual) is to be as subtle as possible... not an attention whore. Even if you were great at moving the shit you stole without anyone notice, I think that purple tutu is a bit of a give away... Not to mention you being 6'3 and your dick in the breeze! Then he starts running and climbs a linked fence... naked... BRO you will hurt yourself! Some people are so stupid it reaches new levels... I blame the solar storm and the full moon personally...

"Joseph Cordes Allegedly Aims Laser Pointer At Eyes Of High School Goalie In Massachusetts"

WINTHROP, Mass. — A Massachusetts man accused of aiming a laser pointer into the eyes of the opposing goalie at his daughter's high school hockey game is facing criminal charges.
Authorities announced Tuesday that 42-year-old Joseph Cordes will be summoned to East Boston District Court to face a charge of disturbing the peace.
Police say Cordes pointed the light at the Medway/Ashland goalie during a Feb. 29 tournament game in Winthrop, north of Boston. He was ordered out of the arena by a school official.
Winthrop won 3-1, prompting a protest from the Medway/Ashland parents who asked that the game be replayed. The governing body of high school sports in Massachusetts denied the appeal.
Cordes hasn't been arrested. He tells WBZ-TV he feels "like a complete jerk" and humiliated his daughter.
I bet this father has 100 bumper stickers reading: "My kid is awesome, she can eat her whole food in 13,23 minutes"  and many cute non-sense like that. If even your kid farting makes you proud, you have some issues. I bet you wanted to give something back to her by cheating and humiliating her in her school right? Feeling like a complete jerk will make it all better. I can imagine how her classmates will treat the poor girl after this. 
Then people ask why teen suicide rates are going up. Stop meddling. Even losing a game gives valuable lessons to kids. Or else they will learn about it, if they can't find a job when they grow up or they get fired from their job.This whole "Everyone is a winner" even if you lose is such bullshit. Some rough love never hurt anyone. World would be a better place if kids, teens and adults weren't bubble-wrapped by their parents and society. It gives some motivation to try harder if you feel like a loser all the time.

"Plastic Surgery For Dog: Denise And David Smart Spend $13,000 On Junior The Bloodhound"

An English couple dropped more than $13,000 on a tummy tuck, facelift and other surgeries for their dog, Junior, over the past two years -- effectively saving him from blindness, The Daily Mail reported.
The 5-year-old pooch suffers from a rare disease that causes excess skin to develop on the body, leaving Junior nearly immobile and unable to see because skin flaps had grown over his eyes.
Owners Denise and David Smart admit that some of the surgeries were strictly cosmetic, rather than medically significant.
"It's taken years off him and he does look like a young man again," Denise Smart told the site. "Before the operation he was fed up and looked like a grumpy old man. Now he's more mobile and he's got a new lease on life."
It took vets several long operations to redo his face and, in his most recent surgery, to insert 39 stitches that gave him a taut tummy.
The couple -- which has pet insurance -- said that they wanted Junior to be more like his father, a Crufts dog show champion.
Pet plastic surgery has grown in popularity over last last few years. Performed nose jobs have risen 25 percent over three years totaling $2.5 million, with another $1.6 million being spent on eye-lifts.
There are also Neuticles, silicone testicles for neutered dogs who want to maintain pride and self esteem.
I love animals and you already know it. Maybe more than humans and especially stupid humans. My problem is that spending all these money for cosmetic reasons is 1) dumb because of the money (although I know rich people spending more on their pets in one year than 10 families spend in themselves in 10 years) and 2) if you want to make the pet more beautiful so you can love it and more importantly to show it off, you are as shallow as everyone imagined after reading this. As for the fake balls... it's not for the pets, it's for their owners because they overcompensate for their lack of.
 Again these are for normal people. I won't even go how much rich people spend on their pets. Research about the dog in the Oscars what it wore on its neck. And let me know...