Stupid safety signs

I have a theory to why so many dumb people exist around me. It's those stupid safety laws and signs. What do I mean with this? Darwin explained what Natural Selection is. It's when evolution happens and a male and a female meet that have the best chances of survival. Meaning they are probably smarter than the rest or they are faster so they can avoid dangerous animals that hunt them down and so on. It's a great theory and it is now proved to be real. If you are religious and you start talking about intelligent design I will slap you in the face with some facts on another post.

So Darwin WAS right. But not anymore. With all these stupid laws and signs we have, natural selection isn't true anymore. Can someone explain to me why there are signs like:

Do you think I reached this age without me knowing that? I see the floor being wet so I can understand it will be slippery! If you actually walk and watch where you are going this sign isn't needed. Unless you check your facebook on your smartphone and you don't watch where you are going... Dumbass.

If you need a sign for that too then you must be an idiot. Do all of us a favor and disappear...

The next one I am sure everyone has seen at least once.

First off this looks like a tourist attraction! "Watch how great is the gap!". If you are smart enough to look down there I bet you can figure that there will be a gap between you and the train. How to avoid this difficult life hazard? Take one leg and put it inside the train... then the next one... and all these while you watch WHERE THE FUCK YOU ARE GOING!

Ok you are in an escalator... My first thought without looking at the sign would be to actually hold the handrail... They took the time to put it there... it must be useful! Now I have a kid with me... Hmm what should I do? A) Let it figure out what to do, B) Hold his hand, C) Leave it there and come back in an hour to pick him up... Next is Keep Feet Away.. ok that doesn't make sense... so lets read the next line "From Side Panel"! Aaaah this was a trick! I have to read both lines to unlock the secret meaning! "Keep feet from side Panel!" wow! Thank God you let me know. I was about to stick both my feet on that... No idea how you can actually do that but still. Ok the next one is tricky... "Face Forward"! I wonder why they added thaaaaaargh!! Aaah that's why because in the end you will fall down if you face backwards... Very smart... I bet you needed an IQ of 150 to figure this out... "No baby strollers" ... Someone actually tried that? I see no reason why I shouldn't use my wheelchair then... And finally don't ride barefoot... I bet when you went out today you didn't get your shoes like you do all the time... Snap now you have to use the stairs and not the escalator...

They should also add to this: "Don't stand with one leg, the head 45 degrees on the left, the one arm up and the hip slightly to the right on the escalator". Don't laugh someone is bound to do it one day!

Why? I wanna run. I am late. How am I going to explain to the boss I don't have, that because there was this sign I couldn't run? Even running is hazardous nowadays... We came to that...

Who doesn't check to see how shallow a pool/lake/beach is? Do you see that kid that the water level is in his waist? Does that give you any clue on how shallow the water is? Do you need a sign for that?

Please try to figure out why? Maybe because when there is a fire electricity is cut off? or maybe because the elevator shaft might be also on fire? Or the mechanism that keeps the elevator from dropping might also be on fire? I will let you think about it while I use the stairs.

No stupidity doesn't qualify as a handicap. Park elsewhere jackass.

 So my advice is replace all these with this sign:

Things to look forward to in 2012

New year's eve at last. The highlight of the previous year for the whole world must have been how the Euro fucked up so hard that we actually had corporations lending countries so they can lend banks so they can lend other corporations to fund the countries that lend the banks of the corporations that.... OK that makes no sense I know. But guess what! The whole crisis makes no sense so fuck that.

So there are some things I look forward this year. 2012!

• At last the world will end! Yes there! I SAID IT! It's been a fun ride folks but after 3000 years I feel I saw it all. Genocides, natural disasters, the dark ages, wars, betrayals, the same religion broken down to 100 others, women and men not getting along and so on. I mean I see the same movie for like 3000+ years. This is my stop. Stop the earth, I wanna get off (metaphorically and literally). And then some smart people find a Mayan calendar and what is their conclusion? If the calendar ends it means the world will end. Hey, smartass if this January we ended up blowing ourselves up and some alien civilization came in June and found a calendar for 2012 do you think they would assume that since the calendar ends on December that the world will end at that time? Mayans didn't update their calendar, get over it. Can we move on now?

• Update your friggin laws. Some of them were written when we were running around the world with horses and chariots. Isn't it about time to update em? 
• Microsoft and Linux, Android and Apple, Ferrari and Lamborghini. Come on people ,stop fighting with each other and make a product that doesn't suck. Humanity must move on. I don't have to buy all the junk you have to offer me when you already have invented something better for the sake of how Marketing works. Want an example? I used to own a hard drive that cost 100 euros back in the day. Capacity? 100 MB. Now with the same money I can buy 1 TB. Don't tell me you didn't have the hint of technology back then. You are the reason we don't explore the galaxy by now. 
• I love animals more than anything. More than humans in fact. BUT in case you didn't know most of your pets are manufactured. What I mean? Do you think in ancient Egypt they had those tiny dogs we have today? I doubt it. So how we have them today when they didn't evolve from something? Food for thought. Pets are an industry today. Don't feed it. Having one pet I can understand. If you are the lady with the 100 cats or 20 dogs you have issues. Get over them and leave the poor animals for someone that can take care of them.
• CERN, Space program, etc. There are people in many countries that have no food to eat because your global economy fucked em up. Stop spending money in stupid shit that you can do when you have feed all the people on the earth. I am sure space and the boson particle can wait a decade. 

• Sorry for this it might sound harsh but if you have no food to eat, and you can't give your kids the basic things for their survival why you bring them in this world? 
• Ethnic pride. That's a great one! Just because you were born in a country you are proud about it. "I am a Greek, I am proud!", "I am a German, I am proud of it.". How the hell can you be proud about something you didn't achieve by yourself? It's like saying I am proud that I breath oxygen! Good for you. How come you are only proud about the good things your country did and not for all of its history. Oh come on, don't tell me you can't think of anything. Greeks for example had Efialtis that in the fight of the 300 in the Thermopules (and not the Hot Gates...) betrayed the other Greeks. So feeling proud about him too?
• People and their resolutions. Why make a list of things you will do this year, when you will probably only do them for the next month if you are lucky and then forget about it? You people probably use the same list every year. Stop writing shit and do them.

• Men and women should start getting along at some point. I know you are insecure and you have the need to flaunt your peacock feathers (your sports car and your boobs respectively), but for the rest of us you just seem pathetic. Stop flirting for 5 years and get to the point where you have sex. Do all of us a favor. Unless you are dumb. Then have sex but use a condom... permanently. We don't need more stupid people, thank you.

So these are some of the things I look forward to. That and a cure for stupidity... But that's just far fetched...

Happy New Year and thank you for being with me these past 3 months!