Monday, January 9, 2012

Stupid safety signs

I have a theory to why so many dumb people exist around me. It's those stupid safety laws and signs. What do I mean with this? Darwin explained what Natural Selection is. It's when evolution happens and a male and a female meet that have the best chances of survival. Meaning they are probably smarter than the rest or they are faster so they can avoid dangerous animals that hunt them down and so on. It's a great theory and it is now proved to be real. If you are religious and you start talking about intelligent design I will slap you in the face with some facts on another post.

So Darwin WAS right. But not anymore. With all these stupid laws and signs we have, natural selection isn't true anymore. Can someone explain to me why there are signs like:
Do you think I reached this age without me knowing that? I see the floor being wet so I can understand it will be slippery! If you actually walk and watch where you are going this sign isn't needed. Unless you check your facebook on your smartphone and you don't watch where you are going... Dumbass.
If you need a sign for that too then you must be an idiot. Do all of us a favor and disappear...

The next one I am sure everyone has seen at least once.
First off this looks like a tourist attraction! "Watch how great is the gap!". If you are smart enough to look down there I bet you can figure that there will be a gap between you and the train. How to avoid this difficult life hazard? Take one leg and put it inside the train... then the next one... and all these while you watch WHERE THE FUCK YOU ARE GOING!

Ok you are in an escalator... My first thought without looking at the sign would be to actually hold the handrail... They took the time to put it there... it must be useful! Now I have a kid with me... Hmm what should I do? A) Let it figure out what to do, B) Hold his hand, C) Leave it there and come back in an hour to pick him up... Next is Keep Feet Away.. ok that doesn't make sense... so lets read the next line "From Side Panel"! Aaaah this was a trick! I have to read both lines to unlock the secret meaning! "Keep feet from side Panel!" wow! Thank God you let me know. I was about to stick both my feet on that... No idea how you can actually do that but still. Ok the next one is tricky... "Face Forward"! I wonder why they added thaaaaaargh!! Aaah that's why because in the end you will fall down if you face backwards... Very smart... I bet you needed an IQ of 150 to figure this out... "No baby strollers" ... Someone actually tried that? I see no reason why I shouldn't use my wheelchair then... And finally don't ride barefoot... I bet when you went out today you didn't get your shoes like you do all the time... Snap now you have to use the stairs and not the escalator...

They should also add to this: "Don't stand with one leg, the head 45 degrees on the left, the one arm up and the hip slightly to the right on the escalator". Don't laugh someone is bound to do it one day!
Why? I wanna run. I am late. How am I going to explain to the boss I don't have, that because there was this sign I couldn't run? Even running is hazardous nowadays... We came to that...

Who doesn't check to see how shallow a pool/lake/beach is? Do you see that kid that the water level is in his waist? Does that give you any clue on how shallow the water is? Do you need a sign for that?
Please try to figure out why? Maybe because when there is a fire electricity is cut off? or maybe because the elevator shaft might be also on fire? Or the mechanism that keeps the elevator from dropping might also be on fire? I will let you think about it while I use the stairs.

No stupidity doesn't qualify as a handicap. Park elsewhere jackass.

 So my advice is replace all these with this sign: