Thursday, December 8, 2011

Dumb Cosmopolitan advice (part 2)

After some research I could honestly make 10 parts about how dumb Cosmopolitan is but I will just concentrate on the most extreme. Before I continue some told me that once in a while the advice is good. Yes, sometimes it might is. But even a broken clock is right twice a day. So I can say 98% of the advice is bullshit. For example:

"Don't be fooled by a guy who offers up tons of minor bits of information about where he's been or what he's been doing. At first, it may seem that because he can describe so much, he must be truthful. But he could actually be trying to cover his ass. 'If he's telling a story and you notice he's peppering it with insignificant details, that's a warning sign,' says Driver. 'This is especially true if you detect a lot of pauses, because it means he's trying to come up with more facts.' "

Sooo... When we don't share much it bugs you... and when we do we are liars... Great advice. But there is more my little Pokemon friends...
 
"Yes, maybe he's just extrahorny or you're looking extrahot, but a sudden surge in his sexual appetite can also be a sign that some thing's awry. 'A man who's hiding something won't want to connect emotionally through conversation because he's afraid if he does, he'll spill the secret,' says Krista Bloom, PhD, a psychologist in Florida. 'Instead, because he loves you, he'll look to fill that void by connecting with you physically.' But since various things can cause a spike in a guy's sex drive -- like an awesome shift in your relationship sparked by, say, getting engaged -- don't accuse him of anything without ruling out other explanations." 

Not too much sex is wrong... Too much sex is wrong... I am confused... Also the fact that this lady has a PhD is strange... And then you say I am the one generalizing... I will give you an explanation about him wanting more sex all of a sudden... New underwear, his team won the championship, he got a new item in World of Warcraft or simply because... oh dear Lord... he loves you?? Ladies we are men... Not so much to analyze. We are simple creatures.
Can it? Judging from the women that write these articles their problem is having too little sex... And I continue with:

" 'The main way that trysts are found out is through the discovery of incriminating e-mails, IM chats, cell phone texts or bills,' says Belisa Vranich, PsyD, a clinical psychologist in New York City. So if he's being unfaithful, he may guard his gadgets or act really defensive when you innocently touch his phone or computer. It should be a giant red flag if he readily gave you passwords in the past, and now he's more evasive."

My friend JZ might have something to say about this. I think there is this word... ah.. yes, PRIVACY???? Just because I date a girl it doesn't mean she has free access to all my life. Deal with it. Ever thought I might be a Superhero or an international spy? I am keeping you safe for keeping you away from that part of my life...

" 'If he was short-tempered before, a combination of added sex and attention could be making him way more relaxed, even downright giddy,' Vranich says. Adds Mira Kirshenbaum, author of When Good People Have Affairs: Inside the Hearts and Minds of People in Two Relationships: 'If your guy is suddenly going around all happy and whistling, then you need to find out why.' "

Wow... being happy is a sin in a relationship it seems... Keep believing these and then wonder why no one approaches you in a 1km radius. So you got into a relationship with a miserable guy, you didn't change his mood, yet when he becomes happy because of whatever it's a bad sign? Great logic... Go Cosmogirls!
You thought I left the covers alone? You don't seem to know me enough... Upper left. "Guys answer your sexiest sex qs". Sexiest sex...? Seriously? Overcompensating much from the lack of sex? And who are these guys? What are their qualifications? Say one of them is into feet, (no hard feelings) is his advice any good to the rest of the guys that have no such fetish? I think not!

"Naughty thoughts he has at work". First of... Why do you think I have different thoughts in work from the ones I have in the house? When I am at the office I think of big boobs while when I go to my house I think of perfect round butts? Seriously who thinks of these???

"What your Va-Jay-Jay is dying to tell you". Wanna know? "Stop reading bullshit magazines and go out and get laid before the sand becomes rock in your VJJ! I wont even comment on the VJJ thing.

"Go Naked". Now with that I agree. Keep this as an advice. No need to even browse the rest of the magazine. See? this was the 2% of solid advice.

So Dumb People Annoy Me blog gives you the answer to your main question of why you buy Cosmo:
Thank me later. I 'll wait...