Facebook Page Posts

Honestly the easiest way for this blog to make you laugh is Facebook posts and most of the time the comments that people make are from hilarious to "are you fucking kidding me?".

So if you wanna lose faith in humanity I will update this blog from now on with Facebook posts and comments. If you are a page that wants to take down the post let me know (although I doubt there is a law about it, forbidding me from posting a public post).

So lets start with this marvel of human ignorance:

I don't know if you are a guy or a girl reading this but if you have any experience in the dating department there are no uncomplicated people. If you think you found one you probably have no idea judging personalities or have an IQ of an amoeba. As I said in the comment (yeah thats me) there is no single guy that ever bragged about dating an uncomplicated women, because no guy ever dated one (unless she was a trans-gendered woman, with a guy brain, but that opens another can or worms). Women is universe's Rubik's cube. Looks fun, but try to solve one that has 10x10 sides and most of the time doesn't want you to solve it because it will call you a patriarchy drone that wants to enslave her or something along these lines... 

Although I am against 99% of Elite Daily's posts, they are hilarious and the authors are probably trolls that just want you to start insulting them for being ignorant so they can make money from the clickbait they post. 

So next time you are thinking wow she is such a mature and uncomplicated either stop the LSD and weed or check if she is so nice to you because she is cheating on you. Men have 2 modes most of the time so we are fairly uncomplicated compared to women. Hungry or Horny. So if you see us without a boner make us a sandwich and we ll love you for ever. And even then we don't understand each other mainly for reasons I will post in the future...

Resumes and Interviews are stupid

Lately I have been getting some of these spam e-mails, that tell you what to write in your resume and what to say in your ob interview and got me thinking... I have seen books that tell you how to be an effective Human Resources Manager, what questions to ask, how to browse through hundreds of resumes and find the perfect fit for the company. At the same time I have seen other books telling you how to pass the resume keywords system (gasp!) and what to write, what not to write and how to respond to well known interview questions.

Do I smell a scheme there?This kinda reminds me the whole dating scheme and why it fails miserably. First dates are all about withholding bad info and sharing stuff that you are not remotely interested. "No I don't spend much time on my looks, this is how I look in the morning...", "No ,of course I don't like watching sports and play World of Warcraft!". Do you see where I am going with this?

In other words, if you wanna get the job, you better lie and read a lot of "new" advice of what to put on your resume and what not to say in an interview. New you will ask? Yes, some say do this and that, and after a year they say, this is so 90s and you shouldn't do it anymore. There is no way someone will know if you are good at what you do, from a piece of paper and 30 minutes of chit chat. But let's start from the beginning!

RESUME

 There are companies out there that will actually write your resume and cover letter for you... if you pay them a handsome fee. Which brings me to... If I wanted to work there, can I as them to write my resume? Jokes aside, resumes are ineffective because there is no way to see if someone is a fit for the job from a piece of paper as I already mentioned. Only thing it proves is if you did your research (is this another word for cheating?), if you used the keywords that the filter uses so your resume will actually get some priority number along with other 100 of them for someone to check it. If you are just a bit late and even if you have the best resume most likely someone that was faster than you will get the interview. Don't expect em to interview 100 people. Do you have an idea of how busy HR people are? Because I don't.

"Don't write down what you did in your previous job but rather your accomplishments". Really? People that start have a very limited set of responsibilities. Meaning room for creativity and accomplishments is very limited. If you work as a new salesman I doubt you can call an accomplishment something that other more experienced salesmen do every day. It might be an accomplishment for you but not to them. Also how can you actually check it if you work in HR? With all the hype about privacy I doubt anyone is willing to give someone info about you or your "accomplishments". Now don't get me wrong I am sure some people make a difference but the advice these books and sites give is for everyone not just them. 

Then they say do this, say that and so on but you only have two pages to do it. when I was making my resume I only had 5 years of experience and with my 2 degrees, seminars and info it took 2 pages to fit them all in. Someone with 15 years of experience will probably have a problem. Unless 15 years of experience (or what the HR wants) is one year of experience multiplied by 15. Meaning you learned how to do something in that one year and you kept doing the same for the next 15 years. I can barely call this 15 years of experience. For people like me that try to be creative and improve their skills its hard to fill just 2 pages.

So the solution to the resume problem? Case study. Tell me what you need to do and I will tell you how I would put my skills to good use to help you achieve your goals. I can say in my resume how I am creative and I can do this and that but unless you try me I can say whatever I want. It doesn't take a genius to think something like that. More stress to your HR department to read all these? I truly care.

INTERVIEW

 Ah the audition. This is how I call it. "Wear this and not that". This color means this and this tie means that. Come on people I am going for a job interview not to become a fashion model. "When you get in and the interviewer greets you give him a firm handshake". Have you ever tried this with someone that gives you a not so firm handshake? Exactly. If not you will probably find out soon enough. "Then sit in the chair this way and your hands should be there and not there". Do you know where people told other people how to sit and how to do this and that? 1940 in Germany. Shall I reach any conclusions about this?

Then the stupid rehearsed questions start. "Why you think you are a good fit for the company?", "Where do you see yourself in 5 years" (as an entrepreneur because I am tired of these bullshit), "What is your biggest weakness?"... "Oh I am so perfect and this causes me problems sometimes... makes people like you feel threatened". And many more. I rarely if ever heard someone ask about how you can help the company with a specific challenge they are facing. 

Then they tell you when they ask you if you have any questions it would be a HUGE mistake not to ask. But watch out HOW you will ask what you wanna ask. For example don't ask about vacations and money. Do these people think I want a job because I am a charity case? I want a job because since I have something to offer I expect to get something back too. I shall work for a month and then learn that I got 50% less than everyone else in my industry? No thank you. Show me the money and the benefits package now! Solution here? Same as before. Ask me what I can do in a specific challenge your company faces. Or how you can get publicity or whatever.

And to prove you how much interviews fail Warren Buffet failed his interview in Harvard and he wasn't accepted when he was young. Too bad that he became a billionaire right? Want some more that got rejected from jobs and became millionaires? There you have it:

• Steve Jobs was rejected from both Atari and Hewlett-Packard
• Decca Recording Co. rejected the Beetles
• Yahoo rejects Google
• Michael Jordan was rejected by his high school coach

Point being is you need to do things in a way that is not scripted. Google and Jobs offered something the other companies didn't see. Because they followed the standard procedure and protocol. Failing to see talent and skills, and only trying previous decade ways without innovating them and modernizing them will get you so far. You prefer someone telling you scripted rehearsed shit or speaking of his dreams and what he is passionate about?

Men's Logic

Honestly, being a man myself I have trouble understanding other men when it comes to women... Women on the other hand will probably relate to this post. Normally I had something else in mind to post today but I was out with some friends yesterday and the discussion shifted to the men and women topic. So I will list several things that women and I don't get about men.

• You are out on a club, lounge, etc. and you notice a girl you like. And you start looking at her and she notices, so she starts checking you out too. The seconds become minutes and the minutes become hours... And you never approach. Why the fuck are you looking at then? Just to let her know you have no balls to approach her?

• Even worse in the above scenario, you don't just look at her, but her friends too. Trying to up your chances? You think women never tell their friends that "this cute guy is checking me out!"? Think again. Stick to the girl you want AND the one you WILL approach.
• Some guy might say I don't mind approaching her. And it's true. There are guys that will approach the girl... And 15 other girls the same night... And they think the girls don't notice... 
• So our guy approaches the girl, leans over and he gives the punch line... "Hey babe, you look so hot, I wanna take you home". The girl looks at you and she gives you the cold shoulder. And you wonder why she rejected you while you call her, in your head a stuck up bitch. How many girls have gone home with you with that pick up line honestly? And why you keep saying it I 'll never understand... And neither will they...
• In a more general note, men want the girl to like them for who they really are... I have two objections with that. First almost no one shows who they really are, especially on the first dates. Second who are you? Why are you different than the last 100 guys she met? And on a more realistic scenario... Would you like her if she was 100 kg? Why would she like you? Men get all stuck up when they say "The man is the leader". Well Mr leader where is your power? or your money? Even with your logic you can't win. Just because you have a pair doesn't make you any different than the rest with the same pair. 
• "Women only care about money". I care about money too. Hell everyone I know cares about money too. Money in today's society tend to show the value of a man. Like in the ancient times, when the strongest hunter would get the best girls and so on. You are the one complaining about how men are underrated today. From personal experience just to get laid you don't need money. On the other hand for relationships it is important. How do you expect a woman to trust you with her life and her future baby's life when you still stay at your mom's basement and you work at some no tomorrow job?
  And ok sometimes this happens:

 

• Boasting about your sexual prowess to a woman is just dumb. Imagine how many before you have done it and how many times she was disappointed. So less talk more action. In theory everyone is Casanova. In actions they are Easter Bunnies.
• You approach a woman and she has green eyes. Or great legs or whatever. And you compliment the most obvious part of her body. Compliments are ok to break the ice but dude be more creative. The last 10 guys that approached her told her the same thing you did. What makes you more special?
• Opening the eX-Files... Seriously that's the best you can come up with, on a date? Bitch about your ex to the girl you want to become your girlfriend?
• Getting to know each other is great but at least make your life a bit interesting before you talk about it. Playing Fifa, PES and World of Warcraft and doing nothing else is not gonna make her say: "wow I want to be part of his life". Unless she plays at least one of those herself and looks like this:

• Women are (most of the time) masters on style. Dressing casually all the time while she wears an amazing red dress is something she will complain about, at least to her friends. Get her with you and let her choose some clothes for you. Go on GQ and fashion magazines and get some ideas.
• Asking a woman to a date will show who you are. It boggles my mind how many men ask a woman to a date and they then say "ok where do you wanna go? what do you wanna do?". Hey dumbass you asked her out, plan for it. Women want men that lead not submissive little boys.
• Remember when you had a life and friends before you met her? She still wants you to have your life. Don't leech on her 24/7. You become clingy and insecure.
• Sex isn't a two and a half job. Next time you do it try something for a change. Like actually pleasuring her before you crack a nut. I love it when I become radical! Sex needs imagination. Use it. If not someone else will take your place and then you will complain "she was a slut for cheating on me".
• Be romantic. Most of the girls I talk to they haven't ever received flowers or went to a romantic dinner. Be different. Casanova would cry if he saw where flirting and seduction came to.

 On the other hand if you don't take my advice... More women for people like me. Enjoy!

Why facebook sucks (part 3)

This is the dating part of the chain, so here goes:

• I know some people (me included) that could actually get dates from facebook. But guess what? Most people can't. First off attraction happens because of some factors like: mystery, social proof, achievements, living life to the fullest, a sense of style and so on. Now if you have in your profiles pictures like the ones previously mentioned and the last time you hugged a woman, was your sister or cousin, then no matter what woman you ll talk to, she 'll be in her mind "out of your league". Especially when you have some of the qualities I mentioned before, talking to her for hours on facebook (if you are lucky and she doesn't ignore you because of the other 15 messages she gets from horny men like yourself) won't accomplish anything. Wanna meet her? Move from facebook to msn, she doesn't have msn? get her number, and again don't spend too much time talking to her. Some girls won't meet you no matter what. Just move to the next, don't waste time just because she is "special". She isn't. Talking to her for a year won't make her wake up one day and say "wow I am so attracted to this guy". She ll probably use you to let some steam, because the guy she met doesn't return her calls or even worse because she is so in love with a guy that you are probably better than him. (I 'll make another blog about this if people are interested. So leave comments so I know).
• You meet a girl out and you hit it off. You like each other and when the crucial time, of you asking her phone number comes, what do you do? "Hey give me your facebook!". Nice one dumb ass. You just made the whole interaction go backwards! So, you ask her to add you on facebook, where other 1000 men are in (probably more if she is hot) and you think you 'll make a difference. First off if your profile doesn't have the above qualities you just shoot yourself in the leg. "He was interesting when we talked, but from what I see in his fb profile all he does is go to football games and play Xbox with his friends" that's what she 'll say to her girlfriends about you. Also where is the mystery of her meeting you and knowing you, when she can just see your facebook and know all there is to know. Next time get her friggin number and meet up another time. Don't be a dumb ass!
• If you are a lady's man you probably had this scenario happen to you: "I saw your profile and you have so many pictures with women... are you a player?" or what I mentioned in a previous part, you meet 2 women on different dates for the first time and both ask you out in the same day after this. So you tell the least attractive one that you can't make it because "_enter excuse here_" and you end up going out with the other one. And then when you are sleeping, assuming you didn't end up in her or your place, she leaves a wall message saying that she had a great time with you TONIGHT. You can imagine the rest... Especially if other random girls end up in the hate convo. (I have to say if you want a better social network Google+ offers circles to put your friends in which don't let them interact with each other if you don't want em to.)
• This girl with her tits out and the one that asks "who wants a blow job or sex" is a guy in a woman's profile. Just delete and block. If you ever met a woman before in your life no one offers free blow jobs. And even the ones that do there are strings attached... in this case probably balls attached.
• If you are into a relationship, all someone needs to do to break you up or make you have a huge fight with your gf is leave a message like this: "I know you told me you ll break up with your gf but after yesterday's sex I am feeling like I fall for you... 5 times! this can't be anything else that love... Btw I wore today that swarovski necklace you got me... I still think it's too expensive for first gift... But thank you xoxo". Need I say more?
• Finally, I might be a bit off here but I think Facebook drops your IQ. Or at least as someone said "It's better to not talk and be thought a fool, than open your mouth and remove any doubt". There is no other explanation for these: (taken from failbook.org)

Out of topic but I could't resist!

-=End of facebook rant=-

(for now...)