Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Craigslist best of

More or less everyone has browsed Craigslist. Back in the day they even had an ehm... more private category but they removed it. Now you can look for roommates, mates, sell and buy stuff and more. There is also a best of category where they post the best ads or your viewing pleasure. I will re-post some here. Of course I take no credit for them!

"I have a functioning time machine (i know it sounds unbelievable, but I assure you it works) that I need a 2nd person to operate with me.
I'm looking for someone who is adventurous and reliable. Preferable a male; or a female that can do heavy lifting.
I am leaving on September 30th, 2010, in the morning and plan to return October 2nd, 2010. I am going to June 1983 to handle some business.
If you are serious about time travel and are reliable, then please contact me. You do not have to pay anything, but you would have to provide someone to watch my cat for the time we are gone. The only qualifications needed are that you are reliable and that the circumferance of your head is no more than 64cm.

We will be leaving from Bozeman, MT. Let me know if you want to go with me."

Sounds fishy if you ask me... I kinda wonder who replied!
Oh. you think this is weird? Check this out:
One Rabbi versed in the Dark Talmudic Arts to create one Golem for household of three. Golem will perform rudimentary household chores such as dishes & sweeping, basic Math Tutoring for our daughter in 3rd grade and basic household security. Golem must be obedient and fairly unobtrusive on our every-day lives.

We will supply all materials needed (clay, twigs, calfskin parchment, etc) needed to create the Golem. All you need to do is use your magical ancient Rabbinic skills to animate said Golem!

Please note! We are looking for a Rabbi to create a Golem: an anthropomorphic being created from inanimate matter from Jewish folk-lore, NOT Gollum: a former Hobbit turned into monster and looking for "precious". This is important! We have no interest in living with Gollum. We want a Golem. Please respond, serious inquiry only.

  • Location: Astoria, NY
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
  • Compensation: no pay"
 Let me guess, you want it to be female?
Sorry precious...

"We need a smart or more person to help un with our Company."

Taken as found... If I could take a wild guess, the "Company" is the Greek Government... I am just guessing here...

"Looking for a good looking girl, ages 18-25 to take a few pictures with me. In medical school. Went through a bad breakup and told my parents I had a new girlfriend so they'd leave me alone.

Pay is $80. Totally clothed. Take a few pictures. Done in 5 minutes. $80. Attach picture and I will respond. No travel required.
  • Location: Cleveland/surrounding
  • Compensation: $80" 
Some people can't get a girlfriend to save their lives...

"I am a graphic artist and in need of a job. I have decided to fill this need the same way many people think the can fill their graphic design needs; with a contest!

Here is how it will work;

Send me one weeks worth of salary and benefits. I will keep all of the checks that are sent to me and use all of the benefits.

Whoever sends me the best salary and benefits package will win the contest and get the prize of two days of graphic design work!!!

Good Luck! I am really looking forward to recieving your payment packages!"

Incredibly brilliant or just plain stupid? Who knows?

I bet you wanna hire him now, right?