Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Failbook (Part 1)

I used to have a facebook page... and then I grew up and filled any insecurity holes I had. Because let's face it, this constant quest for approval, self hate and love, making people see how lucky or well unlucky you are, seeking envy and compassion, trying to find a date in a secure(?) environment for both men and women for different reasons and many more, has its roots in stupidity and insecurity.

But let's analyze things with my flawless logic and common sense which nowadays tends to be a super power:

  • Why else would you start posting in your facebook page "Wow I had so much fun today.", "This chick was all over me", "All men love me and I can walk all over them" and so on. I call that insecurity. Especially when I know 9 out of 10 times the person that writes it, lies, is on the verge of depression, hasn't had sex since the last Olympic Games and tries to show the world how great his/her life is before he/she starts crying on his/her empty bed.
  • Women (mostly) that change their relationship status faster than the speed of light. I swear I used to know girls that were single/in a relationship/complicated/engaged/divorced is a matter of few hours... Seriously? First off I don't care. I don't care if you are in a relationship, you fucked 2 more guys and it became well... complicated and then your boyfriend asked you to forgive him for...  whatever he did to displease your royal vagina so you were forced to have a threesome with his boss and his best friend. And when you didn't forgive the "asshole" (he was a bad person after all... he couldn't talk to you about your period while he was in a meeting in his job, so he deserved it) for cheating on you, because that's what you ll tell your girlfriends to sympathize with you, you end up being married with one of your female friends. At least that gives us some "material" for the night... And speaking of material:
  • Facebook porn. Well not yet, but softcore is as close to it as it can get. I don't know if you have looked at the pic posts on facebook (who do we both kid right?) but the pics especially in summer time compete against softcore porn websites and eventually win because of the homemade/amateur element. Now don't get me wrong I enjoy the eye candy but when it goes from this:

        to this:

  • then its sick and obvious that facebook has other ehm... "hidden" uses. And don't tell me these girls didn't give permission for the pics etc. When you upload something on the web you automatically give permission to everyone to use it. I especially enjoy women in relationships that upload pics like that and then bitch about how people don't respect her relationship for making comments like: "wow nice boobs/ass babe", "your bf is so lucky but if you break up I am here" (can you be more desperate?), "smokin bod", "Take the top/bottom up" and many cute comments like these. You don't respect your own relationship and you expect others to do so? As for their boyfriends... Seriously bro a leash sounds like a good idea when she acts like that. Or some spanking but hell she ll probably enjoy it. And of course this last example is possible because of:
  • Girls with 12 profiles that each have 5000 friends. I can't remember my facial expression when a girl I met asked me to add her on fb and see told me to search her with the letter c in the end... I of course searched without it only to find she had 3 profiles. the first two with 4989 friend each and the second was on the 4000. I don't have to say I didn't add her. Now that I remembered my expression must have been like this:

So to go back to my previous example, with girls in a relationships that add so many people that they can't filter who can post in their semi nude pics... I can't feel sorry for you, but I can laugh and delete you.
Are you so insecure that you need 15000 people and more to self validate you all day, all night? It's friggin facebook not Pokemon!
You don't have to add all the people in it. No one asked you to make a new army for the UNIV (United Nation of Insecure Vaginas). Stop accepting all the random dudes that steal your pics and then you complain why someone uses them in a porn site or has used Photoshop to show your nipples in that see through dress that already shows your nipples. And worse of all they will: 

-=End of Part 1=-